13: The Musical

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BRizz 2 13: The Musical stars Eli Golden alongside several surprising A-list cameos that pop in throughout the film. I was genuinely shocked to see some of these stars show up—but unfortunately, their presence wasn’t enough to elevate the movie. It’s very much a musical in every sense of the word—heavy on the singing, light on the story. And when I say “musical,” I’m thinking of titles like Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Grease, Hairspray, The Greatest Showman, and even Wonka. What those all have in common is strong storytelling through music. You follow Belle’s journey, Aladdin’s adventures, Sandy and Danny’s love story—there’s a clear arc driving each song. 13 lacks that emotional core. The songs are catchy, sure—but not memorable. The film is so saturated with music that it feels more like a visual album or a playlist with dialogue breaks than a full-fledged narrative. It ends up feeling like something that belongs on Nickelodeon—fun, light, but very juvenile. It’s unclear who the audience is supposed to be. Is it for actual 13-year-olds, or for parents watching with their kids? Either way, the movie didn’t leave a lasting impression. It’s fine for a one-time watch, but for me, once was enough. Rated 2.5/5 Stars •  Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars 08/10/25 Full Review MARTINA L This musical is terrible, the songs are acceptable but the argument is very bad. When I saw the film I thought the story was too simple Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 06/28/25 Full Review Audience Member 13 the movie falls flat, because they made all the characters less flawed making them less memorable and even though less flawed it made them less likable, in the end of that movie I had no connection to any character at all. Lucy and Archie are the ones who I can see the biggest change. Part of the reason why the characters fell flat is because the songs developing the characters were cut this happened to Archie, and somewhat Lucy. The censored so much I dare say all of the humor from the original musical, the original it was funny in the new one all the jokes fell flat, because they made it more for little kids. How I see the original 13 musical was a show about teen and the teen experience. that teens and adults could all connect with, because it was not just a happy perfect story and the characters were all messy but also human. 13 the movie is a story about teens for children it really can not connect with teens because the teens in the movie do not feel like teens. in the end everyone comes to Evans bar mitzvah unlike the original where Patrice and Archie are the one who go in the end because they are Evans really friends and they are the people who matter. from the starting song to the ending song of this movie it was censored, watered down, and added to. making this movie fall flat this movie is not a good representation of what the stage show is or was. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 08/26/25 Full Review Teddy B One of the only factors of this film that isn't turning the cringe scale to 11 is a handful of songs that are enjoyable enough but do not make up for the lackluster story, unlikeable and often downright disgusting characters (mainly the protagonist), and the ultimate 'popification' of its atmosphere that is so desperately trying to be down-to-earth and rural. Rated 2.5/5 Stars •  Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars 02/07/24 Full Review Antonio G I like the songs and everything, you should watch it. Rated 3.5/5 Stars •  Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars 10/05/23 Full Review George Marc A Awful. I expected better from Jason Robert Brown but this just god awful from start to finish. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 09/08/23 Full Review Read all reviews

13: The Musical

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