Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

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Movie C I love this movie more than life itself. I love it more than my wife and kids. It completes me as a person. There is groundbreaking cinematography, on par with the likes of the matrix and the godfather and other classic movies. It is truly the greatest movie known to man. This should be considered the third testament of the holy bible (god bless America). Viewing this masterpiece is a life changing experience. The Oscars were a clean out at this movie. I rewatch it every day. You must watch this movie. If I could, I’d wipe all my memories from when I popped out of my mom’s ass just to watch it for the first time again. It converted me to Christianity. Even John 11:20 claims ‘thou must observe and greet the light the lord brings to the world if thou wishes to truly follow him.’ That light is this movie. I will never look at a lesbian again without thinking of the suffering she goes through as the prime meal for vampires. My heart goes out to them as they must live in fear. Amen. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 11/20/24 Full Review james The wordplay of Rasputin was the absolute highlight of this film; sent me to another planet. The rest of the movie felt like an LSD trip gone very right with a healthful amount of lesbian vampires in it. Rated 4.5/5 Stars •  Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars 11/28/23 Full Review simp de najimi o god tremenda obra maestra Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 03/08/23 Full Review Joseph K You know by the title exactly what kind of movie you are getting, a tasty fun romp that piss off the uptight segment of America. This is the movie you have to turn on for Thanksgiving when you have your religious relatives over. Rated 4.5/5 Stars •  Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars 09/19/22 Full Review Audience Member It was like a D rated tromoville film but without a toxic avenger. This should have gone straight to betamax. The only bright side was the performance of Johnny Vegas in his titular performance of Johnny Vegas. Rated 2.5/5 Stars •  Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars 01/18/23 Full Review Audience Member I would've given this move zero stars if it wasn't for Mary Magnum and her right red pleather jumpsuit. Every scene with her in it made it bearable to watch. No matter how many cones I smoked this movie was terrible but oh god Mary made it worth it. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 02/21/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

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