Ninja Phantom Heroes

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Audience Member A trainwreck of bafflement of movie splicing. Part of the movie involves a Hong Kong crime movie about gangs fighting over turf, drugs and revenge (the usual stuff). The "framing device" is of an American government agency releasing a ninja from prison and sending him to Hong Kong to confront a former friend, who is a ninja and secretly pulling the strings of the other movie. The two plots never actually intersect. The way the crime movie is integrated is confusing and boring. The ninja storyline is insane and done on the cheap (the evil ninja's training ground is an jungle gym). A confusing, near-unwatchable mess. The only good thing I can say about it is that ninjas explode when they're killed, but even that is not enough to sit through the rest of it. Full Review: http://kestifer.blogspot.com/2012/07/oh-my-god-its-glenn.html Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/11/23 Full Review Audience Member A Hong Kong crime syndicate and an Evil Ninja Cult become embroiled in a turf war over who gets to sell illegal arms to the Arabs. A Good Ninja (Carson) and his slightly homely girl sidekick (Wells), in the employ of the CIA, are tasked with putting a stop to all the arms-dealing shenanigans. Or something like that. "Ninja Phantom Heroes" is a bewilderingly incoherent movie that's avaiable under several titles, including "Ninja Empire", which is rather confusing, because the director of this film has made another movie that's ALSO titled "Ninja Empire". Still, it's not as confusing as this movie, which, near as I can tell, is two--perhaps even three-- seperate films mashed together. One film is a third-rate Hong Kong gangster movie/love story that is full of entirely too many characters and is brain-crushingly dull, except for a cool car vs. motorcycle chase that culminates in, of all things, a knife fight. (That action scene is way too cool to be part of the gangster/love drama, so I'm thinking it miht not be fromthe same movie. The second one is a very silly bit of filmmaking where two American Ninjas, once good friends but now deadly enemies, are heading toward a final showdown. And, boy, what a showdown that turns out to be! It's one of the absolutely lamest climaxes of ANY fillm ever unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. (I think that if Ninjas truly were in the habit of flipping out and killing people, they would kill Bruce Lambert [aka Godfrey Ho] for exploiting their secrret and sinister ways in such a crappy movie. If trimmed to somewhere around 45 minutes, and viewed while drunk and with friends riffing in an MST3000 style, "Ninja Phantom Heroes" might be bearable. As it is, you should avoid it at all costs. I think my IQ dropped at least ten points as I watched the film, and I think I may have lost 2 more points while writing this review. Ninja Phantom Heroes (aka "Ninja Empire") Starring: Glen Carson, George Dickson, Bruce Lambert, Dinny Yip, and Christne Wells Director: Bruce Lambert Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/18/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Ninja Phantom Heroes

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