Terror at London Bridge

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John C Oh, dear, this one is - kind of - painful. No, it's not so bad that I turned it off, but it sure as hell doesn't match up with anything in the genre that it's trying for. If you think of the - classic - 'slasher' films then you'll probably at least hope they'll creep you out a bit (or just indulge in some over the top gory fun). 'Terror at London Bridge' is - technically - a 'slasher' movie, only it just isn't really anything to write home about. We begin in London a hundred years ago when none other than Jack the Ripper is shot and 'killed' over London Bridge. Fast Forward a hundred years later and the bridge has been moved, brick by brick, to America (yeah, don't ask too many questions - just go with it!). And, guess what, Jack's come along for the ride and is back to his old tricks with the local women. Only one man stands in his way - and he's going to do it without his talking car, none other than David Hasselhoff. It's a kind of 'Jaws-esque' affair from then on, with 'the Hoff' guessing that the real Jack the Ripper is behind the killings and wanting to close public events, while the profit-hungry council bosses not wanting to admit there's a problem due to the financial tourism cost such an admission would cause. There's nothing offensively bad about this film. I almost like the premise, but there's just not that much that's good either. It's not funny, i.e. it plays it straight and it's not gory with inventive kills either. The British characters are almost cliches of what English people are like and are laughably funny, but for all the wrong reasons. If you're a fan of 'the Hoff' you'll probably enjoy this, although, despite being the only real name on the cast list you'll recognise, he's not in it as much as you'd think he would be. Otherwise, it's just a basic 'made-for-TV' affair that's pretty forgettable, as it doesn't offer anything new to the genre. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 05/16/25 Full Review Audience Member Oddball story about the when the original London Bridge was moved to Lake Havasu, Arizona and when the final stone is put into place, a series of Jack the Ripper-like murders begin happening. Of course that means Jacks' soul was somehow transported in the bridge to Arizona where he's been allowed to resume is murder spree. Lucky we have David "Baywatch" Hasselhoff and Randolph "Emergency!" Mantooth on hand to stop the ripper. Obviously this is a terrible film, but I did enjoy it on a camp level. Adrienne Barbeau, Clu Gulager, and Lane Smith also appear in the film and Lalo Schifrin provided the score. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 01/31/23 Full Review Audience Member The idea for the movie is interesting and there are a couple of decent scenes. However, sub-par acting (led by "star" David Hasselhoff) ruins this film's chance to actually be any good. The "over the top" acting and dated wardrobe do offer some unintentionally funny moments, though. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 02/04/23 Full Review Audience Member david hasselhoff sucks-so did this film.Stupidest premise for a movie i've ever heard of! relocating a bridge brings back Jack the Ripper...right, and this movie has as much a chance of becoming even a [i]cult [/i]hit ,as I do of having monkeys fly out my butt tonight,singing [i]"Blame Canada!"[/i] Only good thing I liked about it-a very yummy.very young Randy Mantooth in a towel-and NOTHING but a towel! Growl!:rotten: Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 02/03/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Terror at London Bridge

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