The Night Watchmen

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BigD J You either love cheesy horror comedy or you hate it. There's really no in between. I dunno about no 85% on RT, but then again I've said that about a lot of films. All in all, it's mildly comical and entertaining. Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 02/01/24 Full Review Daniel S If you are looking for a campy, horror, comedy--this does the trick quite well. The movie sticks to its campy identity throughout; unlike the true backgrounds of the loveable protagonists--which are slowly revealed as the movie moves along at its rapid pace. The level of absurdity blooms as the film progresses--until it reaches a level that is befitting of the film's premise. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 05/05/23 Full Review robert p The dialogue is awful, with lines such as "Whoa! No need to start spinning your head around and spilling pea soup!", which just rolls off the tongue. The action gets tedious within the opening half-hour, and—yes—the vamps pass gas when they die, a literal gag that's repeated ad nauseum. Admittedly, however, there is a joke that hits: While discussing amongst themselves what these beings are, one of the disbelieving guards says, "Vampires are sparkly and shiny and handsome as shit!" There: I just saved you some money. Thus my *2* star review because it's that bad!! Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 03/31/23 Full Review Audience Member Better than expected, interesting mix of characters. Was expecting cheese but it wasn't very cheesy at all. Moves along quickly and doesn't waste time on building pointless character relationships. Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 02/07/23 Full Review Audience Member This was stupid,brainless fun. I did enjoy watching it,but at the same time I wanted it to just end. If you have time to kill,give this a shot. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 02/13/23 Full Review Audience Member Horrible watch, will not watch again, and recommend you actively avoid. I'm not even sure this one would make a good Bad Movie Night. It's essentially a bunch of jokes written with the concept of normalcy happening in a completely crazy situation just strung together. The jokes are mediocre at best, the cast isn't great, and it's a minimal production budget. Even if the budget was better, I'm not sure the vision is of quality. This is allegedly a "vampire" movie, and after Twilight, I didn't think I could be upset at vampires in a different way, but this movie found it: just treat them like zombies. This is literally a "fast zombie" / infected movie, but instead, they call them vampires because they can't handle sunlight. I have a very long statement about what vampires were, what they've become, what they mean, and what they should be, but honestly this movie isn't worth it here in this review. Just avoid it, unless you've run out of zombie movies to watch. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 02/18/23 Full Review Read all reviews

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