Bikini Summer

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Luke S Not as funny as other nudity based movies, but still has a few funny moments here and there. The plot and the relationships change WAY too much but chances are you'll have more attention on what beer you're drinking or why you are still watching in the first place. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 08/21/23 Full Review Audience Member I love that movie we'll gonna see it Rated 4/5 Stars •  Rated 4 out of 5 stars 01/30/23 Full Review Audience Member Sun worshippers hold a hot bikini contest to save the beach from a condo developer. Pressing social issues such as rainforest deforestation and overflowing landfills are also addressed. I'm not entirely sure the beach was saved but who cares. Rated 3.5/5 Stars •  Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars 02/13/23 Full Review Audience Member Some 10 years later comes this inane effort that opens with an amazing montage signifying what will follow, tits n ass, and ass n tits. And there are still 90 more minutes to go. 1. Beach quality: 6. The filmmakers here had the good sense to set the film on the beach, but realize that it isn't the grand beach panoramas that the audience are here for. 2. Joke quality: 4. Pretty terrible. But not 'Hardbodies terrible'. 3. Chick quality: 8 1/2. Enter the 90s; enter the era of enhancement! 4. Nudity quality: 8. As alluded to above the thongs and more start at minute 1. 5. Nerd quality: 9. And how. Goofy hats. Over-used zinc. Long socks and practical shoes. Warning hot women about the dangers of tanning! 6. Jock quality: 9. On this beach exist a species of jock that are so very jock-ey as to render other jocks emasculated. 7. Obnoxiousness levels: 5. Still high, but at vaguely acceptable tolerance levels. 8. Cool factor: 0. It might have been cool in the early 90s, but everyone - male and female - can't rock Poison hair and get away with it. 9. Party quality: 4. Until the 'bikini' contest. It was a snooze-fest till that point. 10. Innuendo quality: 0. Another film decidedly lacking in innuendo in any form. Sad. 11. Band quality: 2. Chicks with Poison hair and music to match. 12. Titular theme song: 6. This one is pretty awful too in a Tiffany sort of way, and perhaps it is the imagery running through my mind that supports it, but I am humming it as I type. 13. Knees to the groin: 0. Nary a single leg joint in a deserving crotch. (Of course not many advances are declined.) Two bonus categories: The most notable attempt to see chicks naked: The old peek through the hole in the shower gag gets a look in. A pretty blonde wakes up in a stranger's house after a party and promptly decides to skinny dip in slow motion. "Hey I'm a photographer. Would you like me to take some shots of you and your friend in various states of undress?" (Seriously in back to back films! And here it happens more than once, with outlandishly impressive results thanks to a bold-faced dream sequence for the ages.) Nice / Creepy / Rapey ratio: This is far more acceptable and in fact mostly toes the 'nice' and fun line, with only sporadic creepiness. Final Rating - 6.5 / 10. Look I couldn't begin to tell you a thing about this crappy film. I can't recall a single laugh. But the intro and 'I'm a photographer' dream sequence have to be seen to be believed. At least by guys. I can't be seen to espouse the virtues of films where the primary intent is to see women jiggle about in the nude, but if I did this might be the blueprint. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go and ice... something. If you liked this review (or even if you didn't) check out oneguyrambling.com for over 800 reviews and plenty more good stuff... Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 01/25/23 Full Review Audience Member Lojinks at the beach. Some point-and-laughable '80s big hair carryover. Maybe worth an extra star if you watch during the winter and the dish is buried under 3 feet of snow. Eh, make that 5 feet. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 02/23/23 Full Review Audience Member Feel-good film that emphasizes teamwork in united cause for the common good in saving the beach from a creepy condo developer. It's easy to root for these kids. A great summer film that can also melt away the winter blahs. Theme song has way of resonating in your mind long after the film's conclusion. Rated 3.5/5 Stars •  Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars 02/24/23 Full Review Read all reviews

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