Audience Member
So bad it's good. Well, I wouldn't say good. More like a decent Tales from the Crypt episode.
Acting, writing, production value... all pretty bad.
It does have a few decent scares, and that low-budget 80s horror feel.
Rated 2/5 Stars •
Rated 2 out of 5 stars
02/27/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Predictable, tedious and preachy, Cup of My Blood is the tale of a porn photographer who comes into possession of the holy grail. He's the pre-ordained Chosen Protector, so of course he's surrounded by all sorts of evil people and demons who know he'll get the thing and, of course, know beforehand what will happen, since it's all been written as prophesy. I suppose that suits this flick, since it's extremely easy to figure out everything that happens in this pretentious claptrap long before it actually comes to pass on the screen.
The acting is entirely sub-par, with a wooden leading man who looks a bit like Liam Neeson but certainly can't act as well. There is a fair amount of female nudity and some simulated sex, but we're practically clubbed over the head with the admonition that all of this is bad. Rule one for this flick is that if anyone gets naked, it's because they're a demon and they want the grail's protector dead and the grail for themselves. The only friends who aren't on the side of the devil are two IT people who run the porn website, Scooter and Nibbles (no, really, those are their names). Scooter and Nibbles are using their porn website (2ndCuming.com) as a front; there;'s a secret link in the form of a hidden crucifix in one photo that leads to a secret site on which those who know that Christ is about to return are networking. They're looking for signs and, importantly, conspiracies. There are several right-wing paranoias fitted into this movie. For example, gun exchange programs are fronts for Satan; all those unlicensed weapons being turned in are being used to arm the army of evil in preparation for Armageddon! That's early in the film, though. It gets more preposterous and preachier from there.
By the time I finished watching this stinker, I was alternately yawning, laughing, and questioning my own sanity for getting all the way through it. Those who agree with its message may like it better than I did.
I should also note that the DVD version of the film that I watched didn't survive transfer very well. The left and right sides of the frame were severely cropped, so the entire film seemed to be shot in close-up. This began with the title, which in the chopped-down DVD version was "Up of My Bloo," the C and P having been lopped off the screen. I think they should re-release the film under that title; it makes about as much sense as the movie itself.
This one is "Left Behind" meets "Indiana Jones" meets "The Artifact." It doesn't, however, meet any reasonable criteria that would make it a worthwhile horror film.
Rated 1.5/5 Stars •
Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars
01/30/23
Full Review
Audience Member
I liked this one. It was weird. There was this crazy fight for a cup that might be the holy grail, or everyone's crazy...
Rated 4/5 Stars •
Rated 4 out of 5 stars
01/25/23
Full Review
Audience Member
This looked like something that could have been released theatrically. It is very ambitious and because of that looked at times stylish. The assortment of characters whose choice of profession in the film would be seen to most as sinful, but then that only strengthened them to eventually have them tie in with Religion, especially porn photographer Jack Fender our central character who unwillingly becomes in possession of Christianity's Holy Grail. It was a nice mix. Daniel Patrick Sullivan may not have been the most convincing of actors to be the protector of the cup Jesus' blood was drank from, but because of the strong script he was always going to be decent. Janina Gavankar was great and convincing. Who wouldn't want to be suduced by her? Fans of horror films with a religious backdrop should check this out, but in the end I only found this to be mildly entertaining. Worth a rent though.
Rated 3/5 Stars •
Rated 3 out of 5 stars
01/16/23
Full Review
Audience Member
A Pornographic photographer witnesses and a car crash and finds out he is destined to be the next Holy Grail's keeper until he can find the next and pass it on all the while keeping it from the dark forces sent to obtain it's power. There's some religious history as well as some dark commentary on the direction of modern society. By no means is this a great religion themed movie (there are better ones out there), and is definitely not worth the purchase, however it is worth the rental if you are into the religion themed movies.
Rated 3/5 Stars •
Rated 3 out of 5 stars
02/14/23
Full Review
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