Saturday the 14th

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Michael B A Review from the Depths: Saturday the 14th Will Haunt You (Whether You Like It or Not) They said it was a movie. They said it was a comedy. They lied. I watched Saturday the 14th at midnight, alone, in total darkness—thinking I was in for a goofy, light-hearted horror spoof. What I got instead... was something far more sinister. From the opening frame, I felt a chill. Not from the movie—but from my soul trying to escape my body. The acting? Unnatural. The dialogue? As if written by a cursed typewriter possessed by a confused dad. The monsters? So grotesque, so surreal, they couldn’t possibly be the work of man. (Seriously. One looked like a cross between a sea sponge and a tax audit.) At first, I tried to laugh. I wanted to laugh. But the deeper I went, the more I felt the oppressive weight of confusion pressing on my chest. Nothing made sense. Time lost meaning. I checked the clock. Only 15 minutes had passed. I was already weeping. The film dragged me through a haunted house of nonsense—fanged creatures, cursed books, inexplicably enthusiastic organ music—and left me somewhere between existential crisis and mild indigestion. When it finally ended, the silence was deafening. I stared at the blank screen, empty. Forever changed. My popcorn had gone untouched. My cat refused to be in the room with me. My TV may now be haunted. I give Saturday the 14th five shrieks out of five. Not because it's scary... but because I screamed the whole time anyway. Do not watch it alone. Do not watch it sober. In fact—just... don’t. Grab your favorite beverage, Sit in your favorite chair, Pop some popcorn and Press Play....Then go take a cold shower. Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 07/24/25 Full Review Eddie O Grew up watching this show in the 80s was one of the best movies ever . You had to grow up in the 80s to appreciate it. If you grew up in the 80s you most definitely watched and enjoyed this it was a must see. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 02/17/25 Full Review Shawn R Ya definitely gotta check this out on a Saturday the 14th! Rated 3.5/5 Stars •  Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars 12/14/24 Full Review yosemite s This is a fun ride. Hilarious take on a monster movie. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 10/15/23 Full Review Joseph L I love Richard Benjamin, yet hate this movie. The coughing cartoon wolf in the opening credits was the highlight. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 09/16/23 Full Review Steve D It just isn't funny, which should be the goal. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 03/11/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Saturday the 14th

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