Simon Sez

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Simon Sez

PG-13

1999

1h 22m

Action

Comedy

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20 Reviews

16%

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2,500+ Ratings

Interpol agent Simon (Dennis Rodman) is gathering information about the weapons trade on the French Riviera and trying to pinpoint the man at its center. Meanwhile, Nick (Dane Cook) -- an old classmate of Simon's -- asks him for help. Nick needs to rescue his employer's daughter, who appears to have been kidnapped by the same people Simon is tracking down. The pair must get to the bottom of the increasingly dangerous situation with the help of two monks and a feisty woman.

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Critics Consensus

Simon Sez no matter how starved you are for something to watch, there has to be a better option than this dreadfully misguided action thriller.

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Entertainment Weekly

This cockamamy action flick is excruciatingly formulaic -- brimming with spy movie cliches but devoid of the genre's fun, upper-class pretensions.

Rated: D-

Aug 3, 2009

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Nathan Rabin

AV Club

Dennis Rodman may be a great rebounder, but as a pop-culture icon, he's a one-trick pony.

Aug 3, 2009

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Joe Leydon

Variety

A frenetically junky action adventure that will quickly dribble off to vid stores after a token fast break in theatrical release.

Jun 17, 2008

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Daniel Barnes

Dare Daniel

A superspy action-comedy too brain-dead to even qualify as a James Bond knockoff.

Rated: 1/5

Mar 26, 2020

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Maitland McDonagh

TV Guide

This on-the-cheap action thriller appears to exist purely as a showcase for the limited talents of self-created caricature Dennis Rodman, who in turn clearly needs to exploit himself while the exploiting is good.

Rated: 1/4

Aug 3, 2009

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Chris Gore

Film Threat

It's as painful to watch as Rodman's star-posturing interviews.

Rated: 0.5/5

Dec 6, 2005

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Stephen C

Funny in 1 hour and 22 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The USA grossed over $292,200.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Filmed in 1999 in color!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ages 13 and older!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dubbed and subtitled in worldwide studios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

10/30/25

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Michael S

Straight Garbage! Respectfully

Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars

06/04/25

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Steve D

Unbelievably bad but not because of Rodman.

Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars

09/23/23

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Audience Member

"Simon Sez" no matter how starved you are for something to watch, there has to be a better option than this dreadfully misguided action thriller. Bring in The Flamin' Medallion Of True Terrible-Ness. Characters: 0/5 Story: 0/5 Acting: 0/5 Special Effects: 0/5 Direction: 0/5 Cinematography: 0/5 Soundtrack: 0/5 Overall: 0/5

Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars

02/06/23

Full Review

Audience Member

OH, JESUS F***! This movie should have never been made. No matter how starved you are for somethin' to watch, there's gotta be a better option than this flop. For starters, Dennis Rodman may be good at basketball, but on film, he's just a one-trick pony. And if he actually made a profit, Rodman ain't gettin' nothin'. After a token fast break in theaters, "Simon Sez" just dribbled over to video stores. But Simon says "Avoid this misguided 'Die Hard' knock-off." For experts, just avoid this. IMO, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, should avoid this ultra depressed thriller that tries, and fails, to be James Bond. You want spy films? Watch 007 movies, nothin' wrong with that.

Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars

02/24/23

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Audience Member

another so bad it's good classic

Rated 4 out of 5 stars

02/11/23

Full Review

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Kevin Alyn Elders

Director

Dennis Rodman

Simon

Dane Cook

Nick Miranda

Natalia Cigliuti

Claire Fence

Filip Nikolic

Michael Gabrielli

John Pinette

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Synopsis

Interpol agent Simon (Dennis Rodman) is gathering information about the weapons trade on the French Riviera and trying to pinpoint the man at its center. Meanwhile, Nick (Dane Cook) -- an old classmate of Simon's -- asks him for help. Nick needs to rescue his employer's daughter, who appears to have been kidnapped by the same people Simon is tracking down. The pair must get to the bottom of the increasingly dangerous situation with the help of two monks and a feisty woman.

Director: Kevin Alyn Elders
Producer: Moshe Diamant
Screenwriter: Moshe Diamant, Rudy Cohen, Andrew Miller, Andrew Lowery
Distributor: Independent Artists
Production Co: Global Entertainment Productions
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Action, Comedy
Original Language: English
Release Date (Theaters): Sep 24, 1999, Original
Release Date (Streaming): May 25, 2011
Box Office (Gross USA): $292.2K
Runtime: 1h 22m
Sound Mix: Surround, SDDS, Dolby Digital

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