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Simon Sez

Play trailer Poster for Simon Sez PG-13 Released Sep 24, 1999 1h 22m Action Comedy Play Trailer Watchlist
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0% Tomatometer 20 Reviews 16% Popcornmeter 2,500+ Ratings
Interpol agent Simon (Dennis Rodman) is gathering information about the weapons trade on the French Riviera and trying to pinpoint the man at its center. Meanwhile, Nick (Dane Cook) -- an old classmate of Simon's -- asks him for help. Nick needs to rescue his employer's daughter, who appears to have been kidnapped by the same people Simon is tracking down. The pair must get to the bottom of the increasingly dangerous situation with the help of two monks and a feisty woman.
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Simon Sez

Simon Sez

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Critics Consensus

Simon Sez no matter how starved you are for something to watch, there has to be a better option than this dreadfully misguided action thriller.

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Critics Reviews

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Owen Gleiberman Entertainment Weekly Rated: D- Sep 7, 2011 Full Review Entertainment Weekly This cockamamy action flick is excruciatingly formulaic -- brimming with spy movie cliches but devoid of the genre's fun, upper-class pretensions. Rated: D- Aug 3, 2009 Full Review Nathan Rabin AV Club Dennis Rodman may be a great rebounder, but as a pop-culture icon, he's a one-trick pony. Aug 3, 2009 Full Review Daniel Barnes Dare Daniel A superspy action-comedy too brain-dead to even qualify as a James Bond knockoff. Rated: 1/5 Mar 26, 2020 Full Review Maitland McDonagh TV Guide This on-the-cheap action thriller appears to exist purely as a showcase for the limited talents of self-created caricature Dennis Rodman, who in turn clearly needs to exploit himself while the exploiting is good. Rated: 1/4 Aug 3, 2009 Full Review Chris Gore Film Threat It's as painful to watch as Rodman's star-posturing interviews. Rated: 0.5/5 Dec 6, 2005 Full Review Read all reviews

Audience Reviews

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Michael S Straight Garbage! Respectfully Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 06/04/25 Full Review Steve D Unbelievably bad but not because of Rodman. Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 09/23/23 Full Review Audience Member "Simon Sez" no matter how starved you are for something to watch, there has to be a better option than this dreadfully misguided action thriller. Bring in The Flamin' Medallion Of True Terrible-Ness. Characters: 0/5 Story: 0/5 Acting: 0/5 Special Effects: 0/5 Direction: 0/5 Cinematography: 0/5 Soundtrack: 0/5 Overall: 0/5 Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/06/23 Full Review Audience Member OH, JESUS F***! This movie should have never been made. No matter how starved you are for somethin' to watch, there's gotta be a better option than this flop. For starters, Dennis Rodman may be good at basketball, but on film, he's just a one-trick pony. And if he actually made a profit, Rodman ain't gettin' nothin'. After a token fast break in theaters, "Simon Sez" just dribbled over to video stores. But Simon says "Avoid this misguided 'Die Hard' knock-off." For experts, just avoid this. IMO, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, should avoid this ultra depressed thriller that tries, and fails, to be James Bond. You want spy films? Watch 007 movies, nothin' wrong with that. Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/24/23 Full Review Audience Member another so bad it's good classic Rated 4 out of 5 stars 02/11/23 Full Review Audience Member This is so colossally awful you'd think it was one of those "films within a film" that's intentionally supposed to look awful. Dennis Rodman is so bad it sounds like English is not his first language. A complete failure across the board. Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/27/23 Full Review Read all reviews
Simon Sez

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Cast & Crew

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Kevin Alyn Elders

Director

Dennis Rodman

Simon

Dane Cook

Nick Miranda

Natalia Cigliuti

Claire Fence

Filip Nikolic

Michael Gabrielli

John Pinette

Micro

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Simon Sez

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Movie Info

Synopsis Interpol agent Simon (Dennis Rodman) is gathering information about the weapons trade on the French Riviera and trying to pinpoint the man at its center. Meanwhile, Nick (Dane Cook) -- an old classmate of Simon's -- asks him for help. Nick needs to rescue his employer's daughter, who appears to have been kidnapped by the same people Simon is tracking down. The pair must get to the bottom of the increasingly dangerous situation with the help of two monks and a feisty woman.
Director
Kevin Alyn Elders
Producer
Moshe Diamant
Screenwriter
Moshe Diamant, Rudy Cohen, Andrew Miller, Andrew Lowery
Distributor
Independent Artists
Production Co
Global Entertainment Productions
Rating
PG-13
Genre
Action, Comedy
Original Language
English
Release Date (Theaters)
Sep 24, 1999, Original
Release Date (Streaming)
May 25, 2011
Box Office (Gross USA)
$292.2K
Runtime
1h 22m
Sound Mix
Surround, SDDS, Dolby Digital
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