Spiral Farm

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Audience Member My basic test for movie goodness is whether or not I can remember the names of the main characters after the film ends. In the case of Spiral Farm, the answer is no. It didn't help that I got about 40 minutes into this film about a family living in a cultish commune before I realized it wasn't a horror flick. I think I resented the remaining 40 minutes for this reason. The acting wasn't terrible but I felt bad for the lead actress--she deserved better than this forgettable story. The movie begins with the protagonist dancing with her arms in the air, indicating she just don't care. Neither does anyone watching. Unfortunately, her apparent passion for dancing factors heavily into the remaining 80-plus minutes. You see, this skinny white teenager who grew up on this cult commune is supposedly good enough at hip hop dancing to become a finalist in a audition in Los Angeles. I mean, spoiler alert...as if matters. The overall flaw with this movie is that despite decent acting and cinemetography (and shot in 4:3 format...), you just don't care. They provide little exploration of the commune and its culture, which clearly allows people to come and go as they please, and has no restrictions on outside entertainment such as YouTube and rap music. The main character suddenly considers leaving the commune, but not until the very end. You aren't even aware this was something she was even contemplating as the movie had focused more on her love of dancing and her crush on the new boy in cult town. The only risk she would face for leaving is that she might get dumped by the guy she likes if she leaves the commune. No excommunication or being hunted down Scientology style. That was the big potential consequence, and apparently you only have your heart broken when you live in the city. Such things don't happen in rural communities. However, with her lack of emotional response to everything that happens, it's hard to care how things turn out for her as she doesn't seem to care either. The matriarch of this house on the commune is an interesting character who was clearly perma-fried from decades of hanging out with the drum circle crowd. Like everything else in Spiral Farm, there's little depth to her character and you stop caring how it plays out. Crazy old lady does get all judgey when the main character shaves her armpits before her dance recital. As a result of this "drama", she makes the newly shaved girl a necklace for safety before she's carried off her chariot...er...Toyota Prius. There seemed to be some attempt to add nuance to the characters as the main actress, who had hardly cracked a smile the entire movie, suddenly tries to act playful with her friend (or sister?) by acting like a dinosaur (or cat?). It was awkward AF and not in that, "what a cute and quirky girl"/Zooey Deschanel sorta way. Her love interest also does this when he takes her to her big (but actually small) dance competition in the city and they hook up in a hotel. Apparently these people who barely know each other and barely talk have inside jokes? Oh, and there's this annoying little wiener kid that lives in the commune house named Ocean. At one point he asks what happens when you die and you get an asinine answer about energy. Later on, the main character's friend (or sister?) who's the kids mother, apparently, tells her not to talk to Ocean about death...ironically without any energy whatsoever in her acting, because apparently energy doesn't kick in for these people until they die. I imagine the writer of this film sat down one day and thought, "What if you were a girl living in a hippie commune who loved hip hop dancing and was toying around with the idea of leaving?? That. That's our movie." Due to the lack of background of Spiral Farm and the completely unremarkable characters, you feel more like you're just watching your standard "kid from the country considers life in the city" movie. What is Spiral Farm? You'll leave this movie not knowing and not even caring to answer that question. In conclusion, Spiral Farm is 80-plus minutes of basically nothing happening, aside from a boring girl experiencing her first hump and dump. Welcome to the city, kid. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 02/13/23 Full Review Audience Member Thats an hour and a half of pure crap!!! Dont waste your time. A high school play would be better Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 02/13/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Spiral Farm

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