Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

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kish b ★★★★☆ Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones is the glorious mess we all secretly love: a two-hour fever dream of forbidden romance, noir detective vibes, clone armies, and George Lucas finally being allowed to play with every CGI toy he ever wanted. Look, nobody’s pretending the dialogue is good ("I don’t like sand" has become legend for a reason), and the less said about the "romance" editing the better. But put that aside and what you have is pure, unfiltered 2002 insanity that somehow works: the Coruscant chase through neon traffic, Obi-Wan’s hard-boiled detective arc (Ewan McGregor single-handedly carrying the movie on sheer charm), the Kamino rainstorm, Jango Fett being the coolest dad in the galaxy, the first time we see a thousand Jedi draw lightsabers at once, and of course the Geonosis arena battle followed by the actual birth of the Clone Wars with Yoda wielding a saber like a green gremlin god. It’s ridiculous and I love every second. And underneath all the awkward flirting, there’s real tragedy: Anakin’s already cracking, Padmé’s falling for a walking red flag, the Republic is sleepwalking into dictatorship, and Palpatine is playing 5D chess while everyone else is playing checkers. John Williams drops "Across the Stars," the most swooningly romantic (and doomed) love theme he ever wrote, and suddenly you’re tearing up over two beautiful idiots making out in a meadow while the galaxy burns. Four stars: one for sheer ambition, one for the action sequences that still slap, one for Ewan and baby Temuera Morrison, and one because every time Christopher Lee hisses "This is just the beginning" I get chills. It’s clunky, it’s over-the-top, it’s the middle child nobody understood in 2002… and twenty-three years later we all quote it ironically-unironically while grinning like idiots. 8/10. Begun, the Clone War has. And I’m still not over it. 🌧️⚔️❤️ Rated 4/5 Stars •  Rated 4 out of 5 stars 11/17/25 Full Review Kacper S My favorite movie from when I was a kid. I really enjoyed the entirety of it. I really can't find any flaws in it. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 11/12/25 Full Review Matt J Slightly better than Phantom Menace, but not by much. Still too much Jar Jar, and Anakin/Padme have no chemistry. It would probably rate lower than Phantom Menace for me, if it wasn't for the Yoda light saber fight which was a nice addition. Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 11/10/25 Full Review Noah G. This film is OK but not as great as other Star Wars movies Rated 4/5 Stars •  Rated 4 out of 5 stars 11/07/25 Full Review Isak A This movie is close to being completely terrible. The scenes between Anakin and Padme is very "cringeworthy", it becomes really hard to watch. Ever character feels so stiff and unnatural and completely ruins the immersion of these being "real" characters. The pacing is also all over the place, the romantic scenes just seem like filler content. Sure, there's some good scenes but nothing that makes up for how bad this movie is. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 11/01/25 Full Review Joey M Can't see giving it anything higher than a 6/10 Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 10/25/25 Full Review Read all reviews

Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones

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