The VelociPastor

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The VelociPastor

2018

1h 15m

Action

Adventure

Comedy

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Tomatometer

Popcornmeter

63%

Tomatometer

16 Reviews

76%

Popcornmeter

250+ Ratings

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.

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Kristy Puchko

Pajiba

This dumb movie has a surprisingly sly sophistication...

Aug 15, 2019

Full Review

Nicolas Soto

But Why Tho? A Geek Community

[The Velocipastor] offers constant humor and action that’s reminiscent of films from the 70s and 80s. It never takes itself seriously, which makes it easier to enjoy the film even more.

Rated: 7.5/10

Jan 22, 2023

Full Review

Dev Shea

Nightmarish Conjurings

...If you go into THE VELOCIPASTOR just excited by the title and a man with dino hands, I think you are going to have an amazing experience in low budget indie horror.

Sep 15, 2022

Full Review

Josh Goller

Spectrum Culture

Despite hammy acting, no-effort practical effects and a plot that feels like the sugar-fueled daydreams of a hyperactive eight-year-old, The VelociPastor finds redemption in how faithfully it embraces camp.

May 6, 2022

Full Review

Jason Shawhan

Nashville Scene

2019's The VelociPastor is 75 minutes long and features dinosaur effects from Party City's inflatable aisle, but it knows exactly how seriously to take the material (not very). Cohan is disarmingly charming, and the laughs and gore pop up regularly.

Sep 25, 2021

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Alix Turner

Ready Steady Cut

A ludicrous monster movie which is way more entertaining than I expected, The Velocipastor really must be seen to be believed.

Rated: 3.5/5

Feb 4, 2021

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TROY S

Worst movie ever made. The acting, and direction was quite terrible. Props and CGI is horrible. I can make better CGI on my Motorola phone.

Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars

03/30/25

Full Review

Joshua H

Watched this for craps and giggles because it was free on Amazon Prime, and I had a blast! It knows exactly the kind of schlocky silly film it is and plays into its self awareness. Get a group of your most obnoxious friends and have fun heckling. Frankly, this is still better than any of the Jurassic Park sequels.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

03/08/25

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Mario Alberto M

Mejor que morbius, no se toma en serio y eso es lo mejor

Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars

02/28/25

Full Review

Audience Member

They don't call me Frankie Mermaid :(

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

02/22/25

Full Review

Audience Member

Even better than Morbius. Jokes aside this movie is so incredibly stupid that it’s actually genius. It’s the epitome of “random bullshit, go!” 10/10 Literally the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

02/13/25

Full Review

Cee S

VelociPastor directed, and edited by Brendan Steere was made in 2017. Doug Jones is a pastor that ends up gaining the power to turn into a dinosaur when he gets mad. He befriends a prostitute, which he high-fives after they decide that he should fight crime. This is similar to the Hulk, but most people think the Hulk is a mainstream superhero. This is a low budget silly horror movie. It’s nice to watch a pastor break his vow of celibacy, while he thinks he is doing a world of good by killing people. This is not far from what people do in the real world. Pastors walk around thinking about all of the wonderful things they do when they are actually just putting on a live weekend show on Sunday mornings. My thoughts are that at least this movie doesn’t pretend to be real, like the Bible does.

Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars

01/30/25

Full Review

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Brendan Steere

Director

Greg Cohan

Doug Jones

Alyssa Kempinski

Carol

Daniel Steere

Father Stewart

Aurelio Voltaire

Altair

Fernando Pacheco De Castro

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Synopsis

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.

Director: Brendan Steere
Producer: Jesse Gouldsbury, Brendan Steere, Brandon Taylor
Screenwriter: Brendan Steere
Production Co: Cyfuno Ventures, Laika Come Home, Hollow Tree Films
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Original Language: English
Release Date (Streaming): Aug 13, 2019
Runtime: 1h 15m

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