The VelociPastor

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The VelociPastor

2018

1h 15m

Action

Adventure

Comedy

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Tomatometer

Popcornmeter

59%

Tomatometer

17 Reviews

76%

Popcornmeter

250+ Ratings

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.

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Kristy Puchko

Pajiba

This dumb movie has a surprisingly sly sophistication...

Aug 15, 2019

Full Review

Martin Izzard

Flickering Myth

Even with the over the top silliness it’s clearly embracing and relishing in, it’s not quite able to be convincing enough as a spoof comedy of a B movie.

Rated: 1/5

Jul 25, 2025

Full Review

Nicolas Soto

But Why Tho? A Geek Community

[The Velocipastor] offers constant humor and action that’s reminiscent of films from the 70s and 80s. It never takes itself seriously, which makes it easier to enjoy the film even more.

Rated: 7.5/10

Jan 22, 2023

Full Review

Dev Shea

Nightmarish Conjurings

...If you go into THE VELOCIPASTOR just excited by the title and a man with dino hands, I think you are going to have an amazing experience in low budget indie horror.

Sep 15, 2022

Full Review

Josh Goller

Spectrum Culture

Despite hammy acting, no-effort practical effects and a plot that feels like the sugar-fueled daydreams of a hyperactive eight-year-old, The VelociPastor finds redemption in how faithfully it embraces camp.

May 6, 2022

Full Review

Jason Shawhan

Nashville Scene

2019's The VelociPastor is 75 minutes long and features dinosaur effects from Party City's inflatable aisle, but it knows exactly how seriously to take the material (not very). Cohan is disarmingly charming, and the laughs and gore pop up regularly.

Sep 25, 2021

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Margaret F.

Ridiculous and surprisingly well done! It was a great “terrible” movie night watch

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

09/28/25

Full Review

Cash M

stop the positive review bomb.0/10

Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars

09/12/25

Full Review

kyleigh m

Absolutely the best movie to come out ever. You won't regret watching it. It's a thriller and horror and a coming of age. This movie will keep you at the edge of your bed wanting more, it's shaped me into who I am today. I don't know what I wouldn't have done without this movie in my life. I'm currently watching it and this is my 8th time. It's not only my comfort movie but my life. It's the light to my life. And it's my everything. This movie is a MUST watch. Absolutely peak cinema.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

08/19/25

Full Review

Audience Member

10/10 such a masterpiece of cinema

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

08/11/25

Full Review

Audience Member

Just finished this cinematic masterpiece. Jurassic Park level special effects, Bruce Lee era Kung Fu fighting, theological battles and a romance for the ages. Wrap this all up with Oscar worthy acting and cinematography and you get a film to rival The Godfather and Citizen Kane. Now anxiously awaiting Velocipastor 2.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

08/02/25

Full Review

Random M

Legit funniest thing

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

07/21/25

Full Review

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Brendan Steere

Director

Greg Cohan

Doug Jones

Alyssa Kempinski

Carol

Daniel Steere

Father Stewart

Aurelio Voltaire

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Fernando Pacheco De Castro

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Synopsis

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.

Director: Brendan Steere
Producer: Jesse Gouldsbury, Brendan Steere, Brandon Taylor
Screenwriter: Brendan Steere
Production Co: Cyfuno Ventures, Laika Come Home, Hollow Tree Films
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Original Language: English
Release Date (Streaming): Aug 13, 2019
Runtime: 1h 15m

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