The VelociPastor

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The VelociPastor

2018

1h 15m

Action

Adventure

Comedy

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Tomatometer

Popcornmeter

63%

Tomatometer

16 Reviews

76%

Popcornmeter

250+ Ratings

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.

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Kristy Puchko

Pajiba

This dumb movie has a surprisingly sly sophistication...

Aug 15, 2019

Full Review

Nicolas Soto

But Why Tho? A Geek Community

[The Velocipastor] offers constant humor and action that’s reminiscent of films from the 70s and 80s. It never takes itself seriously, which makes it easier to enjoy the film even more.

Rated: 7.5/10

Jan 22, 2023

Full Review

Dev Shea

Nightmarish Conjurings

...If you go into THE VELOCIPASTOR just excited by the title and a man with dino hands, I think you are going to have an amazing experience in low budget indie horror.

Sep 15, 2022

Full Review

Josh Goller

Spectrum Culture

Despite hammy acting, no-effort practical effects and a plot that feels like the sugar-fueled daydreams of a hyperactive eight-year-old, The VelociPastor finds redemption in how faithfully it embraces camp.

May 6, 2022

Full Review

Jason Shawhan

Nashville Scene

2019's The VelociPastor is 75 minutes long and features dinosaur effects from Party City's inflatable aisle, but it knows exactly how seriously to take the material (not very). Cohan is disarmingly charming, and the laughs and gore pop up regularly.

Sep 25, 2021

Full Review

Alix Turner

Ready Steady Cut

A ludicrous monster movie which is way more entertaining than I expected, The Velocipastor really must be seen to be believed.

Rated: 3.5/5

Feb 4, 2021

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Vasilis K

This movie was surprisingly entertaining. Not good but a really captivating watch.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

04/15/25

Full Review

Hadi B

The VelociPastor is peak, I love the Elden Ring dragon noises. RIP to that one guy.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

04/12/25

Full Review

Oliver S

Only a person with who thinks Jennifer Aniston is hot would think this movie is sub-par

Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars

04/05/25

Full Review

TROY S

Worst movie ever made. The acting, and direction was quite terrible. Props and CGI is horrible. I can make better CGI on my Motorola phone.

Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars

03/30/25

Full Review

Joshua H

Watched this for craps and giggles because it was free on Amazon Prime, and I had a blast! It knows exactly the kind of schlocky silly film it is and plays into its self awareness. Get a group of your most obnoxious friends and have fun heckling. Frankly, this is still better than any of the Jurassic Park sequels.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

03/08/25

Full Review

Mario Alberto M

Mejor que morbius, no se toma en serio y eso es lo mejor

Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars

02/28/25

Full Review

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Brendan Steere

Director

Greg Cohan

Doug Jones

Alyssa Kempinski

Carol

Daniel Steere

Father Stewart

Aurelio Voltaire

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Fernando Pacheco De Castro

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Synopsis

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.

Director: Brendan Steere
Producer: Jesse Gouldsbury, Brendan Steere, Brandon Taylor
Screenwriter: Brendan Steere
Production Co: Cyfuno Ventures, Laika Come Home, Hollow Tree Films
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy
Original Language: English
Release Date (Streaming): Aug 13, 2019
Runtime: 1h 15m

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