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The VelociPastor

Play trailer Poster for The VelociPastor 2018 1h 15m Action Adventure Comedy Play Trailer Watchlist
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63% Tomatometer 16 Reviews 76% Popcornmeter 250+ Ratings
After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.
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The VelociPastor

Critics Reviews

View All (16) Critics Reviews
Kristy Puchko Pajiba This dumb movie has a surprisingly sly sophistication... Aug 15, 2019 Full Review Nicolas Soto But Why Tho? A Geek Community [The Velocipastor] offers constant humor and action that’s reminiscent of films from the 70s and 80s. It never takes itself seriously, which makes it easier to enjoy the film even more. Rated: 7.5/10 Jan 22, 2023 Full Review Dev Shea Nightmarish Conjurings ...If you go into THE VELOCIPASTOR just excited by the title and a man with dino hands, I think you are going to have an amazing experience in low budget indie horror. Sep 15, 2022 Full Review Josh Goller Spectrum Culture Despite hammy acting, no-effort practical effects and a plot that feels like the sugar-fueled daydreams of a hyperactive eight-year-old, The VelociPastor finds redemption in how faithfully it embraces camp. May 6, 2022 Full Review Jason Shawhan Nashville Scene 2019's The VelociPastor is 75 minutes long and features dinosaur effects from Party City's inflatable aisle, but it knows exactly how seriously to take the material (not very). Cohan is disarmingly charming, and the laughs and gore pop up regularly. Sep 25, 2021 Full Review Alix Turner Ready Steady Cut A ludicrous monster movie which is way more entertaining than I expected, The Velocipastor really must be seen to be believed. Rated: 3.5/5 Feb 4, 2021 Full Review Read all reviews

Audience Reviews

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Evan M This film, unlike the Super Mario Brothers Movie, is pure cinema. I took a great liking to the deep and inspiring story that is told throughout this film. Martin Scorcese did a great job directing this film and James Cameron is now my favorite producer. Back in 1979 when my wife died, this film helped me get through those tough time. I love the part when the velocipastor says "its velocipastoring time!" This is easily the greatest film of all time. Thank you. Rated 5 out of 5 stars 11/12/24 Full Review Robson C Um padre, após perder os pais em uma explosão, decide viajar pelo mundo para se reencontrar com sua fé. Na China, ele socorre uma jovem que foi flechada e lhe entrega um dente de dinossauro. Ao se cortar nele, o padre descobre que pode se transformar em um dinossauro e, desta forma, passa a combater o crime. Eu sei que Velocipastor é uma grande piada ou alguém acreditaria que esta história é séria? Porém falta uma coisa: humor. Os atores são tão ruins que as piadas se perdem no filme. É claro que o padre transformado é risível. E não estou de mal humor. No início do filme, talvez tenha a melhor piada: o carro dos pais explode e em vez de termos a imagem ou a colagem de um carro em chamas, aparece apenas uma legenda, indicando que deveriam usar efeitos especiais para colocar um carro em chamas na vaga que aparece. O Ataque dos Tomates Assassinos também parte de uma premissa idiota. Também não é bom, mas pelo menos tem humor. Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 11/11/24 Full Review Ian W Absolute Cinema. 10/10. Rated 5 out of 5 stars 10/19/24 Full Review Yuli M Nos metemos para mirarla irónicamente, terminó siendo cine🚬🚬🚬 Rated 5 out of 5 stars 09/29/24 Full Review Felix G Pudo ser peor. Aprecio que no se tome en serio a sí misma, pero tal vez debió aplicarlo aún más. Porque esta película es mala intencionalmente e inintencionalmente. Rated 1 out of 5 stars 09/23/24 Full Review j&h f this movie was worse than i thought and i loved it so much. the special effects weren't in the room with us, they were the friends we made along the way. that being said, fun movie 10/10 can't wait for the sequel Rated 4 out of 5 stars 09/06/24 Full Review Read all reviews
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Movie Info

Synopsis After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. Although he is horrified by the new power, a hooker convinces him to use it to fight crime.
Director
Brendan Steere
Producer
Jesse Gouldsbury, Brendan Steere, Brandon Taylor
Screenwriter
Brendan Steere
Production Co
Cyfuno Ventures, Laika Come Home, Hollow Tree Films
Genre
Action, Adventure, Comedy
Original Language
English
Release Date (Streaming)
Aug 13, 2019
Runtime
1h 15m
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