Blitzkrieg: Escape From Stalag 69

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Audience Member First off, this movie was made by morons. The second thing you'll notice is that this is the fattest cast of any movie ever. Ah, but I suppose these are not very constructive observations. So let's get to the meat of it. Blitzkrieg appeared to have been shot on location in suburban back yards and basements, edited on a library computer, all its "best" moments were stolen from other much better films, the sound design was incompetent and there was either no boom mic operator or not enough wireless mic packs to go around, the foley artist's hearing aid must have run low on batteries, everyone did their best impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger with their accents (which came and went indiscriminately), the direction made Scooter McCray look like Igmar Bergman by comparison, the acting was so awful that botched or mumbled lines were often left in, and it was made by people who only had the faintest, most misguided idea of what made the films it was attempting to emulate so popular. Not much of a review I know, but Blitzkrieg wasn't much of a movie either. And by sheer dint of that wasn't worthy of a review that even an Uwe Boll film would warrant. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/21/23 Full Review Audience Member I'd rather have Ilsa titty-twist my nipples than have to sit through this film again. I figured it was time for a good Nazisploitation film, but boy was I wrong. I think my DVD player got AIDS. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 02/03/23 Full Review Audience Member I was interested to view a modern take on Nazisploitation genre. This film is a raw and very cheaply made film. It has a typical plot for this kind of film, the mistreating of prisoners in a war camp. Motley assortments of prisoners set aside their differences and join forces to stage a revolt. I found this film a little boring. Its over long and with lots of superfluous dialogue. It doesnt truly get going until the last half hour. There are a couple of highlights, some good FX in the nasty torture scenes and who would no forget the sight of a naked woman in jack boots running through the woods and blowing away Nazi dirtbags with a machine gun. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 02/25/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Blitzkrieg: Escape From Stalag 69

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