Do You Know the Muffin Man?

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Mark C I rarely slam performances or productions, but Do You Know the Muffin Man? misses the mark in almost every respect. Brian Bonsall—years away from Family Ties—plays Teddy Dollison, yet his innocence can’t save this emotionally manipulative slog. The film’s sensationalism, draping itself in the era's “Satanic panic,” feels exploitative rather than meaningful, prioritizing shock value over genuine insight. The narrative unfolds with contrived dialogue, unnatural court scenes, and heavy-handed characterization. It’s as if the producers wanted to wear their moral outrage on their sleeve, but forgot to give the story nuance or depth. The direction and cinematography are polished, yet they only highlight how hollow the emotional core truly is. Watching Bonsall deliver lines he likely didn’t believe only underscores how little the film trusted its own premise. On top of that, there’s zero connection to anything even remotely related to a “muffin,” making the title feel like some bizarre, meaningless hook. In short: misguided, sensational, and ultimately forgettable—save your time. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 08/08/25 Full Review cjcalvert Incredibly irresponsible made-for-TV film that further perpetuated the now debunked idea of satanic ritual abuse. Every bad stereotype of the imagined satanic panic of the 1980's is present here. When police, prosecutors, therapists, mental health experts, the media, and parents abandon logic and reasoning in favor of emotion and superstition, it has real world consequences. Those consequences being the wrongful convictions of countless day-care owners and workers, teachers, parents, and others. Those who were acquitted had their reputations tarnished and were often left in financial ruins. It seems that Americans always need a scapegoat, an other, in an us vs. them narrative to explain why bad things happen, or when societal changes challenge the white, Christian, heterosexual patriarchy. It's happened all throughout history whether it's the Devil, or satanists, or witches, or Communists, or minorities, or working women, or feminists, or anti-war protestors, or heavy metal, or Dungeons and Dragons, or stranger danger, or so on and so forth. The movie pretty much follows the standard script from a typical 1980's SRA case. A mother accuses the local daycare of abusing her child after the child tests positive for gonorrhea. From there come the suggestive, leading, and repeated questioning of the children, stories of molestation, murdered rabbits, black robes and candles, dead pets, blood, rituals, sacrifices, Satan, pentagrams, etc, etc, etc. The only difference here is that the movie passes these things off as fact rather than fantasy. There was always little to no evidence ever found in actual cases of day-care SRA like McMartin, Kern County, Oak Hill, Martensville, Jordan, MN and others. The satanic panic was a modern day witch hunt, and unfortunately it seems to be making a comeback with nut job conspiracy theories like QAnon and pizza gate. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 08/28/22 Full Review Audience Member great movie deals with a tricky subject and shows just how much times have changed in twenty years the acting by the young children is brill a must see film Rated 4.5/5 Stars •  Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars 02/07/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Do You Know the Muffin Man?

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