Frozen Assets

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Frozen Assets

PG-13

1992

1h 36m

Comedy

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9 Reviews

25%

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Fewer than 50 Ratings

Zach Shepard (Corbin Bernsen) is excited to find he's been hired as president of a bank. When he finally arrives in Hobart, Ore., he discovers to his dismay that the bank is actually a sperm bank. There he meets the cold Dr. Grace Murdoch (Shelley Long), the scientist in charge, whose disregard for him seems to mask romantic intentions. Meanwhile, in order to save the business, the sperm bank holds a fundraiser to find the man with the highest sperm count.

Desmond Ryan

Philadelphia Inquirer

Bristling with terrible puns and single-entendres, Frozen Assets is the kind of movie that is so wretched you watch it with clenched eyes.

Rated: 1/4

Aug 13, 2021

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Stephen Holden

New York Times

It is the sort of frantic comedy that builds up a certain maniacal energy by trying to top itself in bad taste and ludicrous plot twists every few minutes.

Aug 13, 2021

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Doug Mills

Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Like a bad home movie, Frozen Assets is a smirking, painfully self-conscious sitcom made by people from Mars.

Aug 13, 2021

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Candice Russell

South Florida Sun-Sentinel

Almost everything about Frozen Assets, a comedy set in a sperm bank, has the taint of a sub-mediocre TV movie.

Rated: 2/4

Aug 13, 2021

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Rene Rodriguez

Miami Herald

The movie manages to be worse than the most derivative cable-TV flick. It's amazingly bad.

Rated: 1/4

Aug 13, 2021

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TV Guide Staff

TV Guide

Frozen Assets never manages to amount to much more than moving wallpaper, inoffensive but relentlessly uninteresting.

May 20, 2003

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Steve D

Works better than it should but still not well.

Rated 2 out of 5 stars

02/22/23

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Audience Member

Adult humor without the nudity. I loved it

Rated 4 out of 5 stars

02/23/23

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Audience Member

A movie about some people trying to run a sperm bank using extraordinary measures. This movie was a bit cheesy at times but I also found it to be charming and funny.

Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars

01/18/23

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George Miller

Director

Shelley Long

Dr. Grace Murdock

Corbin Bernsen

Zach Shepard

Larry Miller

Newton Patterson

Dody Goodman

Mrs. Patterson

Matt Clark

J.F. Hughes

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Synopsis

Zach Shepard (Corbin Bernsen) is excited to find he's been hired as president of a bank. When he finally arrives in Hobart, Ore., he discovers to his dismay that the bank is actually a sperm bank. There he meets the cold Dr. Grace Murdoch (Shelley Long), the scientist in charge, whose disregard for him seems to mask romantic intentions. Meanwhile, in order to save the business, the sperm bank holds a fundraiser to find the man with the highest sperm count.

Director: George Miller
Producer: Don Klein
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy
Original Language: English
Box Office (Gross USA): $124.0K
Runtime: 1h 36m
Sound Mix: Surround