Onlyfangs

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Bill R. Imagine “ Faster Pussycat kill, kill” wrapped up in “Fright Night and smothered in “From Dusk till Dawn.” The result would be “OnlyFangs.” If Russ Meyers, Quentin Tarantino and Wes Craven had a hideous throuple baby.
“Near Dark” and “Lost Boys” are other inspirations for this 80s-vibe popcorn movie. (Really, it needs to be seen at drive-in theaters.)
The true kicker here is that “OnlyFangs” goes beyond sexy online “real” vampire girls—CUSTOMERS CAN GET THE “REAL VAMPIRE EXPERIENCE. Brilliant.
There are many truly lol moments which make this horror comedy much funnier than most in that genre.
The concept at first glance is a no-brainer—“have an onlyfans except they’re vampires and we call it OnlyFANGS.”—but fortunately the writer-director dynamic duo of Paul Ragsdale and Angelica De Alba DO have brains, and theirs are pretty smart and creative and extremely depraved.
They took that concept and added so many layers that it became a psychotronic s3xploitstion vampire movie AND a stunning indictment of current social and political 
mores. The cast is dynamite which makes their performances significantly better than the “average” horror comedy. The brilliant direction from Ragsdale and De Alba makes it all crackle with absurd decadence and malice.
Drew Maverick leads the cast as a well-known podcaster who desperately wants to hunt monsters. When he posts a photo of one of the vampire girls online, a world-wide tsunami of backlash comes at him.
For some reason, he doesn’t “turn” after being bitten and instead makes a shark tank pitch to the vampire girls to go into business not just posing online, but offering an actual “vampire experience.” Date a real vampire chick and get bitten in the throat but not so bad that you die!
My friend Jessa Jupiter Flux is sultry, voluptuous and charismatic as initiate Gwen, and trust me you do NOT want to miss that scene.
When Wes (Maverick) springs the OnlyFangs idea, the newbie, Reese—played by Kansas Bowling — sums it up with hilarious matter-of-factness:
“so we meet up with guys, hypnotize them, drain their blood just enough to get them high and want to keep coming back for more?”
The leader of the vampire girl gang, Scarlet, is played by Nina Lanee Kent with bl00d-thirsty glee. Definitely one of the best characters in the movie, and Kent makes a lot more out of the character than what was probably on the page. 
Ellie Church plays a loony Southern congresswoman with satirical malice.
Spooky Kristy Adams goes total #btggf!
The rest of the deliciously decadent vamps are brought to undead life by Adriana Uchishiba, Bebe Bardot, Meredith Mohler and 
Delawna McKinney. Nick Zagone is Harvey, the originator of the vampire girl gang, in a madcap over-the-top performance— not because Zagone is over-acting, but because Harvey IS an over-the-type personality, and Zagone nails it with malicious glee. 
Props to Shane Meyers for an overall entertaining performance as Quentin and especially for his wearing a Miskatonic University tee shirt.
And Ginger Lynn as Wes’s mom Mimi is salivatingly sultry and creepy. Have a watch party with likeminded weirdos, order pizza, fire up a bowl, and enjoy the F out of this movie.
Highly recommended. All the stars & skulls. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 11/16/25 Full Review Read all reviews

Onlyfangs

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