John M
Definitely a low finance movie with freshman writing. No real story. Poor acting. I'm sure they had fun making it though.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
03/22/24
Full Review
Richard P
It's a great terrible movie to watch and just have fun with how ridiculous the whole plot is. They knew they weren't making a masterpiece. The actors actually tried, no phoning it in. Cave monsters, robots, dinosaurs, tribe of women. Come on now, what's not to like/dislike as you laugh at the whole movie?
Rated 3/5 Stars •
Rated 3 out of 5 stars
08/09/23
Full Review
Audience Member
The Phantom Empire is a very meta film. Its title refers to the 1935 Gene Autry movie serial — which was kind of remade as part of the show Cliffhangers! — as well as having Robby the Robot in its cast, Jeffrey Combs' character Andrew Paris saying that he went to Miskatonic University (the same school from Re-Animator) and vehicles from director Fred Olen Ray's movie Star Slammer and Logan's Run show up, as well as footage from 1977's Planet of Dinosaurs. Maybe by referential sometimes I'm also saying cost-effective.
Ray got the idea for this film while filming Commando Squad in a Bronson Canyon cave. He wrote the script over the weekend and then started filming the day after Commando Squad wrapped, using the same cast and crew. That's impressive but the original inspiration for the 1935 Phantom Empire is wilder. Writer Wallace MacDonald came up with the entire movie — plot, characters, their names, costumes, literally every single moment of the serial — while he was being treated with nitrous oxide by his dentist.
A cave creature with millions in diamonds around his neck emerges from a cave and rips someone's head off before it's stopped. A party is made of Cort Eastman (Ross Hagen), Denae Chambers (Susan Stokey), Andrew Paris (Combs), Professor Strock (Robert Quarry) and Eddy Colchilde (Dawn Wildsmith, Ray's wife) to enter the caves and see what they can salvage.
They soon find a hidden world, Robby the Robot and a queen played by Sybil Danning, which is really why most people rented this. Throw in Michele Bauer as a cave girl and that's why they definitely rented this.
Rated 2/5 Stars •
Rated 2 out of 5 stars
02/06/23
Full Review
Audience Member
An oddity. Fun, in a terrible way, but highly inconsistent, and it can't seem to either take itself seriously, or play up the camp, so it tries both ways, and the only successful part of that is the cast. Ross Hagen, doing his best Robert Preston impersonation, and doing a damn good one, is cigar chomping, with his gal, Eddie, the most hardcore cigar chomping person ever put to film, are loads of fun. The plot is awkward with lots of scenes being of fake danger, as in, they don't amount to anything, or advance the plot, simply an obstacle to never be mention again. Since this is how most of the movie goes, it's hard to really enjoy it overall. Certain scenes work, and whenever Eddie opens her mouth, usually with a cigar in it, it's a blast. However, the ending is so anti-climatic and the overall presentation such a message, there's no true fun to be had.
Rated 2/5 Stars •
Rated 2 out of 5 stars
02/04/23
Full Review
Audience Member
The Phantom Empire is another serving of 80's schlock horror/comedy from prolific cult director Fred Olen Ray (Evil Toons, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Cyclone, and a hundred other films of this caliber). The story concerns a goofy cannibal cave mutant that appears in a park one day and kills a man. Pan to dead, prolific explorer's spoiled rich daughter (Susan Stokey) who enlists the help of adventurers Ross Hagen and Dawn Wildsmith, as well as an archeologist (the late Robert Quarry) and his intern (the great Jeffrey Combs!) to explore the caves in search of vast diamond riches. While on the search, they uncover more cannibalistic cave mutants, a long lost world, a busty alien queen (the beautiful Sybil Danning), sexy cavewomen (lead by my ultimate fantasy, Michelle Bauer), and more Planet of the Dinosaurs stock footage (seriously, this is about the 8th film I've seen this stock footage used). There's lots of bad effects, bad acting, and enough ridiculousness (all intentional thankfully) to have any fan of schlock and corny 80's movies getting some honest enjoyment out of. As the movie drew closer and closer towards the end, I was seriously sweating and on pins and needles over the uncertainty of either beauty, Danning or Bauer, revealing their sexy 80's bodies. While Danning remains relatively clothed throughout the entire movie unfortunately, we have the joy of seeing Bauer's top come off in a cavegirl on cavegirl fight. To add to the excitement, Bauer proceeds to run around topless (with titties flopping around all over the place) for the next several scenes, much to my delight. Sure, it's bottom of the barrel entertainment, but it's definitely of the so-bad-it's-good variety. Fun film.
Rated 3.5/5 Stars •
Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars
01/21/23
Full Review
Audience Member
No Oscars won for this but Danning is still the Queen bitch of B movies. Looks like some items were stolen from other movies. This is B all the way, especially from a very young Jeffrey Combs performance. Michelle Bauer provides the bounce.
Rated 2.5/5 Stars •
Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars
02/07/23
Full Review
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