The Machine

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2:11

The Machine

R

Released May 26, 2023

1h 52m

Comedy

Action

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Popcornmeter

32%

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25 Reviews

87%

Popcornmeter

500+ Verified Ratings

Bert Kreischer rose to fame as a stand-up comedian known as The Machine, and in his signature set he recounts his true experience with Russian mobsters while on a booze-soaked college trip. Now, 23 years later, that trip has come back to haunt him as he and his estranged father (Mark Hamill) are kidnapped back to Russia by the mob to atone for something they say he did. Together, Bert and his father must retrace the steps of his younger self (Jimmy Tatro) in the midst of a war within a sociopathic crime family, all while attempting to find common ground in their often fraught relationship.

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Critics Consensus

A sloppily lifeless movie that's strictly for hardcore Bert Kreischer fans, The Machine is broken beyond repair.

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Audience Says

The Machine isn't quite as hilarious as Bert Kreischer's standup, but this over-the-top action comedy is still plenty of very silly fun.

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Glenn Kenny

New York Times

You may wonder, if Kreischer is such a popular stand-up comedian, why he hasn’t done more television and movie acting. Well.

May 27, 2023

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Christian Zilko

indieWire

The comic’s preexisting fans should find plenty to love... But anyone who goes in hoping for any kind of literary substance would be better off just reading the nutrition facts on their Junior Mints box.

Rated: C-

May 26, 2023

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Todd McCarthy

Deadline Hollywood Daily

The Machine is loud, gross, obnoxious and overbearing. It’s also disarming, quick-witted, fast moving and becomes increasingly funny.

May 26, 2023

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Zach Youngs

InSession Film

There are enough laugh out loud one liners that the film isn’t utterly unwatchable. The Machine wants to be the kind of phenomenon that people talk about and word of mouth spreads, but it just doesn’t have the legs the original viral video had.

Rated: C

Jul 3, 2024

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John Serba

Decider

I’m afraid anyone who isn’t already indoctrinated into the world of Bert “The Machine” Kreischer will struggle to find entry via this movie, which is too long, too stupid and not nearly as funny as it thinks it is.

Sep 26, 2023

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Kevin Carr

Fat Guys at the Movies

On brand with Kresicher’s stand-up persona, the film pulls some punches but manages a workable story and some laugh-out-loud moments.

Rated: 2.5/4

Aug 18, 2023

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Kimberly

It's funny with lots of action, and I love Bert.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

06/24/23

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Zach S

The Machine was a great start for Bert Kreischer and lets be honest most of us were there because we already like his comedy. The reason we like his comedy is what made it work for The Machine, its a story Im glad was told, it had a cast that made Bert look like a better actor while not underplaying it either, and it had a freaking legend Mark Hamill. It was a lot better in a theater because everyone there was also a Bert fan, and they all get the jokes. We all get the jokes at the same time. It checked a lot of boxes for me, while it wasnt a movie I would say was a cult classic, it was a quirky indie movie that seemed more like a Blockbuster and it showcases the birth of a probably successful movie star. 3/5 movie made into a 4/5 movie just cause it seemed fun to make

Rated 4 out of 5 stars

06/29/23

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Dom

Highly disappointing

Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars

06/14/23

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Autumn

Went to see this because my boyfriend loves Bert. Dont regret it one bit! Such a comedic movie with amazing acting. Made me laugh my buns off. Loved the sentimental aspect and the comedy side of things.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

06/14/23

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Brian R

Good comedys are hard to find!

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

06/14/23

Full Review

Big Willy 44

4 of us went, 3 are already Bert fans. Now there are 4. Haven’t laughed that hard at a movie (new release) in years. Since Old School? We are the Millers maybe? Mark Hamill was hilarious. Bert was Bert. Easter egg references to Segura were funny AF. Loved it.

Rated 5 out of 5 stars

06/19/23

Full Review

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Peter Atencio

Director

Bert Kreischer

Self

Mark Hamill

Albert

Jimmy Tatro

Young Bert

Iva Babic

Irina

Stephanie Kurtzuba

LeeAnn

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The Machine: Extended Preview

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The Machine: Red Band Trailer

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Synopsis

Bert Kreischer rose to fame as a stand-up comedian known as The Machine, and in his signature set he recounts his true experience with Russian mobsters while on a booze-soaked college trip. Now, 23 years later, that trip has come back to haunt him as he and his estranged father (Mark Hamill) are kidnapped back to Russia by the mob to atone for something they say he did. Together, Bert and his father must retrace the steps of his younger self (Jimmy Tatro) in the midst of a war within a sociopathic crime family, all while attempting to find common ground in their often fraught relationship.

Director: Peter Atencio
Producer: Bert Kreischer, LeeAnn Kreischer, Judi Marmel, Cale Boyter, Peter Atencio
Screenwriter: Kevin Biegel, Scotty Landes
Distributor: Screen Gems
Production Co: Legendary Entertainment, Shaken Not Stirred, Screen Gems, Balkanic Media
Rating: R (Pervasive Language|Drug Use|Some Sexual References|Strong Violence)
Genre: Comedy, Action
Original Language: English
Release Date (Theaters): May 26, 2023, Wide
Release Date (Streaming): Jun 20, 2023
Box Office (Gross USA): $10.1M
Runtime: 1h 52m
Sound Mix: Dolby Atmos
Aspect Ratio: Scope (2.35:1)

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