Geostorm

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Gary L If you were looking for Citizen Kane, you were in the wrong theater. This was just fine to wile away some time watching things blow up and the good guys saving the world from Ed Harris, who does a reliable bad guy. You critics can be so damn critical. Rated 3.5/5 Stars •  Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars 08/14/25 Full Review Bruce M Not really good, terrible script and some cheesy special effects, is in the same field as 2012, San Andreas, etc. An extra star for Alexandra Maria Lara, though. Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 08/14/25 Full Review Mitchell S The effects are pretty cheesy, but I like the premise and overall it's decently written. Heck, I'd pick it over most of Roland Emerick's films. Rated 3.5/5 Stars •  Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars 04/29/25 Full Review Bryan B Is it a disaster movie, a political intrigue movie or an action flick? It tried to be all and didn't do any of them well. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 04/26/25 Full Review Ron G What a waste of some talented actors time. The plot was predictable, the dialogue at times was a ridiculous hoot. I hope the pay was worth the loss of dignity that they endured. Kudos to the special effects team. If it hadn't been the storms and space station disasters, I wouldn't have been able to watch the whole movie. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 04/22/25 Full Review Oscar D Geostorm is the kind of movie that makes you wish for a real apocalypse just to escape its runtime. Directed by Dean Devlin, this sci-fi disaster flick tries to sell us on a world-saving weather satellite system but delivers a storm of stupidity so fierce it could sink Atlantis. Picture this: Earth’s climate is controlled by a space gizmo that’s basically a glorified sprinkler system with a “cause tsunami” button. Gerard Butler, growling like he’s auditioning for a gravel-voiced GPS, plays Jake Lawson, a scientist-astronaut tasked with stopping the machine from turning cities into CGI slushies. Spoiler: he doesn’t stop the film from freezing your brain cells. The script is a Category 5 disaster, with dialogue so clunky it could anchor a cruise ship. Gems like “The storm’s not the problem—it’s the conspiracy!” sound like they were scribbled on a napkin during a power outage. The cast, including a sleepwalking Ed Harris and a “who’s that?” Jim Sturgess, wade through this mess like they’re contractually obligated to drown. Subplots about family drama and a tacked-on romance have all the spark of a damp matchstick. Visually, Geostorm is a budget-bin Michael Bay knockoff. The effects look like they were rendered by a toaster, with storms so fake you’ll swear they’re stock footage from a weather app. The science? Let’s just say it makes flat-Earth YouTube videos seem peer-reviewed. Satellites zapping instant blizzards and heatwaves? Sure, and my toaster can probably time-travel. Pacing is slower than a sloth in a snowstorm, lurching between explosions and yawn-inducing “plot twists” you’ll see coming from orbit. By the time the villain’s revealed, you’ll be too busy checking your watch to care. Geostorm wants to be Armageddon but ends up a cinematic fart in a windstorm—loud, embarrassing, and gone in a whiff. Watch it for laughs with friends and a strong drink, or better yet, let this one blow away. Your Netflix queue deserves better. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 04/19/25 Full Review Read all reviews

Geostorm

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