LÃvia C
It was so terrible that I attempted suicide and came at the same time. Best orgasm of my life.
Rated 5/5 Stars •
Rated 5 out of 5 stars
03/30/24
Full Review
harry r
This movie is a combination of Predator, Jurrasic Park, Godzilla with the Michael Gross from Tremors thrown in.
I have to give them an A for effort. Michael Gross has kind of made this type of role his forte. As much as I enjoy Tremors and this role I still liked him as the Father in Family Ties. I am glad he has been successful in acting with a varied list of roles. He and some of the other actors and actresses are too good for this movie. The strangest role was played by Stephen Blackehart. It was not convincing at all. The first several minutes of build up was pretty good. After that it continued to slip into the abysmal depths of a slow death. As far out as Tremors was, the team made those movies great. This team just didnt have the same magic. There were too many moments were it was painful to watch.
Rated 1.5/5 Stars •
Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars
03/31/23
Full Review
Audience Member
WOW. This is one old movie (2008)! Lots of old movies have cult followings and are sometimes regarded as some of the best films ever. Then, there's some that had a trailer that were never shown at theaters or even on television. The trailers that you'd only stumble across on a foreign Vietnamese or Egyptian website that's only visible if you click out of the endless advertisements where the trailer is practically sulking in the corner of the webpage in a 640x480 resolution while your computer is attacked by a virus or a trojan horse (I'm sure I'm not the only one). It's those movies that will most likely never see the light of day on a TV screen. But it's those movies that hold a throne in my heart. The nice, soft, squishy, juicy, flabby...um, I have no idea where I was going with that. Anyways, I remember back in 2009-20010( I think), I would constantly visit the Hollywood Video down by Creek Bridge with my parents. I was only like 7-10, so when I saw a huge T-Rex being bombarded with military fire on the cover of "100 Million BC", I knew that that's what I wanted to see for the weekend. And after watching the movie with my parents, I had nightmares of a huge, disgustingly animated super magma allosaurus rexodontus (It's really a carharodontosaurus, but I couldn't even pronounce television right at the time.) tossing me for at least 5 times in the sky before finally swallowing me whole with the movie music blaring in the background. What can I say? I was one sensitive kid! Only recently, being a 14 year old with an endless crave for bad movies with a couple of bucks and a laptop, in November something, 2015, which was only 2 months ago, I searched up a forgotten relic of my ever extending childhood. The one and only, for $3.81, 100 Million BC!
This movie is awful. That's all you people that appreciate good movies need to know. Steer clear of this movie! Now! GO AWAY!!! OK! Now that all of those pesky critics and decent people who like good movies are gone, allow the budget movie fan to give this piece of art a review in the mind of a terrible movie lover!
So 100 Million BC is a low budget film made by The Asylum, who are notorious for bad movies and are basically best friends with Sci-Fi. Right off the bat, just by looking at the cover of the DVD case, you'll notice that the T-Rex, which isn't even featured in the film, is WAAAAYYY too big! Rex is as big as the buildings on the side! GLORIOUS. Once you start the movie, it plays a semi-epic intro featuring a camera circling a giant mountain surrounded by what looks like Californian mountains and landscape. It plays an orchestrated piece of music that I'll admit sounds pretty cool (maybe because I'm in a brass/woodwind band in school). There is a man and a woman who are climbing down a spray painted piece of foam that fails to trick me into believing that it's a mountain peak, looking for cave paintings of the past. Wow. Also, why are they going down the mountain to reach the paintings if they could've just seen them while climbing the mountain?! This just keeps getting better and better. Then, a couple of Navy S.E.A.L.S are waiting for the perfect moment to join a debriefing for their mission. Stop soldier! We are supposed to enter the building to listen for a guy older than oxygen to give us information about cave paintings like all the other Marines at exactly 2:00! See that clock? IT SAYS 1:59! We still have to wait 17 seconds before entering! It's crucial that we listen to a debriefing at exactly 2:00! We aren't supposed to go in a couple minutes early and wait around like normal people would do! WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME??!! YOU DO NOT DISRESPECT YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER, ESPECIALLY ABOUT PRECISE TIMING TO LISTEN TO A USELESS DEBRIEFING! STAND DOWN! I SAID STAND DOWN!!!
Anyways, the S.E.A.L.'s are Lieutenant Peet (over actor), Burke (easily spooked hairsweat), Myrick (Tall as Shaquille O'neal), Jones (dude who suddenly finds camouflage face paint halfway through the movie), Stubbs (only guy who is excited about travelling back in time and seeing dinosaurs), Manriquez (bandanna man), Chief (you never find out his real name), Pryzricki (weirdest name, coolest gun), and an old researcher about science stuff, Frank Reno (only decent actor). Together, they make the super dino killing team that attempts to rescue a team of researchers and Franks' older but somehow younger brother Aaron because they sent them back 70 million years to test a device. So, with the best (worst) special effects you'll ever have the privilege (pain) of seeing, the team is one by one killed (photoshopped out of the screen) by froggodile things, raptors that apparently, according to a random chick who was with the research team, cover their claws with poop, pterodactyls that should be pteranodons since 70 million years ago was the jurassic era, and giant size changing magma-ish looking allosaurexodonthian or whatever it is! I think I'm in love. Myrick is fused to a tree when he time travelled. What a way to go! Pryzricki is chewed up by a frog thing, which the camera caught horribly with shaky hands. Peet is taken away by raptors when Burke is too scared to move on. Nice going, wuss. Right afterword, Burke is taken by the raptors' partner (KARMA.). Chief is wounded, but is saved by the 4 researchers that were stranded there. Pretty soon, he tells the team to leave him cuz of his wound and tries to be John Rambo and Leeroy Jenkins, but is swallowed by the Lava-Rex. Jones is taken away by a pterodactyl (that annoys me soo much!), but finally, the team time travels away from Toro Park, Red Rock, and another random looking place, except for Reno, who volunteers to stay behind to make up for his brother. At this point, I'm only rooting for Big Red, the carcharodontosaurus, the dino that haunted my dreams. Just as the portal is closing, Big Red stomps over for a tea party, but instead jumps into the wormhole. Oh look! A big blue swirling mass of chaos! Can I come too, humans? So, it's now The Lost World all over again with the same music in the background (I enjoyed it for the first couple of hundred hours, but I'm going a little crazy now.). Long story short, Big Red is sent back to the Jurassic era, Aaron is reunited with a younger Frank Reno who teleported to modern day Los Angeles to have a mono-e-mono showdown with the dino, and everyone's happy! The end of the movie has finally graced the screen.
Was it worth it? Holy cow, yes it was! It was so bad, it was a masterpiece. I can't believe I had nightmares about Big Red. I absolutely love this movie! It's just sooooo terrible! In normal movie standards, this movie gets a 2/10 only because of it's actually great original plot. In my book, though, it deserves a 10/10 for being the ultimate bad movie. I love it so much that I actually took time to learn the characters names and lines. I usually watch these movies just to see the cheesy, creative creature scenes. But this movie! This movie I actually liked everything about it's badness. If you ever see a copy of this movie, DO NOT BUY. Unless you're like me, in which case, enjoy the crap out of this piece of crap in all of it's crapptastic crappiness.
Oh yeah. My mom actually called it a lava dinosaur, which I still laugh at.
And on a side note here's my favorite quote from the movie.
"TAKE YOUR F****** PILLS!"
-Lieutenant Peet, to his men to take special pills for the time travel
Rated 5/5 Stars •
Rated 5 out of 5 stars
01/27/23
Full Review
Audience Member
This film falls into the "so bad it's good" category of films. The acting is terrible, the special effects are beyond cheap, and the story is stupid and confusing, and that's what makes it great. It's so bad, it's entertaining.
Rated 3.5/5 Stars •
Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars
02/16/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Acting is horrible, special effects beyond cheap, story is stupid, editing is weird, dialogue is awful, yet, it's so bad it's good.
Rated 4/5 Stars •
Rated 4 out of 5 stars
02/09/23
Full Review
Audience Member
The people working on "100 Million BC" tried their best but unfortunately the end results just aren't good. The film follows a group of Navy SEALs who are recruited on a top-secret mission: a rescue through time. In 1949, Dr. Frank Reno (Michael Gross) managed to develop a time machine and sent an expedition led by his brother Erik (Christopher Atkins) back to the Cretaceous Period. Reno lost contact with his brother and the others soon after they arrived but now they've finally found proof that they made it there ok. The team was assumed lost until cave paintings were discovered confirming that several members of the expedition had survived. A trip back to the time of dinosaurs is no picnic though and not only will the Seals have to combat carnivorous reptiles, poisonous plants and Velociraptors, (I'm assuming that's what they were, these guys weren't exactly observing them under attack) but on their way back, a certain visitor is tagging along for the ride. Now a terror from prehistory comes to modern times, and it's hungry!
It really is amateur hour with this movie. Sure, you can forgive the patchwork special effects because of the low budget, but even by lowering your standards you will find this a chore to watch. The editing is horrendous, some of the worst I've ever seen. There is a scene where a character is being attacked by an aquatic reptile and the camera is so shaky, the editing so choppy and the scene so disorienting that you cannot for a second understand what is going on until it's over and you have a second to piece it together based on the reactions of the survivors. Even worse, there's a moment when our heroes have managed to get themselves back to the present where a computer generated helicopter disappears before the scene is over. One second there's three, then two, then the scene ends. Nobody cared enough to take a second look at the footage and correct that mistake. Other examples of how quickly and cheaply the film was made include some instances of footage recycled multiple times (you can tell the shots of the T-rex are the same as the one in the previous scene because the gun barrel is always in the same spot in the lower left corner) and some shots contain CG effects for no reason (check out when our heroes are climbing rocks to their cave lair, it looks like it was taken out of a cheap cartoon). Even the dinosaur models are inconsistent from scene to scene (including a Pteranodon that decomposes in mid-air and falls dead from an arrow with chunks of its torso rotted away). As a thriller/adventure it even cheats by having the dinosaur really quiet and really quick when the plot demands a body count and real slow and noisy when it's time to make an escape. Before you can say "Clever girl", a velociraptor's come up and run off with a full-sized man in its jaws!
If you can bear all of the bad stuff there's a single cool moment right at the end of the movie but it isn't worth it to sit through a movie who's sound effects are taken right off of the free CD you get with your basic editing software. There's a moment when two characters kiss and you hear that sound clip of two people kissing that you've heard in those slideshow presentations in grade 3. Yeah it's entertaining to make fun of it, but eventually you realize that some of these people really tried and their efforts were for nothing. It becomes a depressing ordeal. I wish all of the people who put in an effort the best, particularly the sculptors seen in the special features but this is not a good movie and I just can't recommend that you should spend any time watching it. (Dvd, October 10, 2013)
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
02/08/23
Full Review
Read all reviews
Post a rating
>
