Beach Babes From Beyond

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Lloyd S It's a softcore porn rather than comedy. Full of round perfect tits that maked your nose bleed! A must watch! Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 12/16/23 Full Review Gummy B As a master cinematographer and world-renowned movie critic, I wholeheartedly endorse the delightful journey that is "Beach Babes from Beyond." With its family-friendly appeal, captivating characters, and nostalgic charm, this film exceeds expectations. A solid 10/10 for a cinematic experience that will leave you thoroughly entertained. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 06/03/23 Full Review Tyler B I've been on a solid Full Moon trip for the past year and a half and i've enjoyed mostly all of it. Decided to look into a Torchlight film and see how they go. Torchlight was their softcore erotic film division in the day, it's name has been changed since then. They made to the point soft core porn movies for home viewers and cable. This was their pilot film in 1993. It also against all odds became a regular on USA All Night, IDK how. But how would I rate the film? Pretty bad honestly. I made the mistake of watching the "director's cut," which itself is a goof. All it ended up being was nothing but extended nude shots and sex scenes which just DRAG on beyond words. This was a painful first watch. Plot's simple but goofy full moon goodness. 3 Alien babes decide to go for a spin in one of their step father's nice ships. Like a bunch of teens they get big headed and wreck it when they run out of gas.. conveniently on earth. It then turns into a typical soft core beach movie by the end. Blah blah blah. The main focus and publicity point of the movie is the celebrity siblings in the movie in which they pretended to advertise the more famous ones in the movie. You get Joe Estevez, Joey Travolta, Don Swayze, and Jackie Stallone in either small or bigger parts. And they are all different in each 4 spots. Jackie and Don are seen literally at the start and end of the movie and are wasted sadly. Joey and Joe (love the near similar names lol,) meanwhile do a lot more heavier lifting and help carry the movie. Joe especially is honestly the heart of the movie. He carries it on his back when he shows up and his character houses the main characters so the plot literally resides by him. Joey is more for comic relief and he's excellent as the goofy nerdy dude, but he also helps the plot along as he's a scientist. Not gonna spoil it but he saves the day. Don was actually good in his short role, most people call him bland but he wasn't bad. Jackie was Jackie, loud and in charge. They needed more time that was a bummer. As for the girls they weren't bad. The main character was actually not bad. The other 2 were meh at best and same for the guys. As for the movie? AWFUL. I watched the director's cut by mistake and boy is it awful. It's quite a few minutes of deleted nude and sex scenes cut out, that's all and only reason why there was a DC. The most goofy part was a literal 3-5 minute long sex scene with a henchman and a random nude model. They start off messaging then it gets stupid really fast as they pour oil all over theirselves and it gets goofy in a hury. I can't explain it properly but it's really, really silly and is worth seeing for how goofy it is. It goes on for forever too; it isn't a quick one. I felt like I aged 10 minutes instead of 5 sitting through 75% of it. Crazy part is the sex scene has NO baring on the main plot what so ever. The dude never sees the girl again after.. it's literally just a dude fantasizing about getting laid. The overabundance on the sex scenes is ultimately what ruins the movie for me. I expected there to be sex scenes since it was a softcore movie but the DC just overdoes it like crazy. They go on forever without any importance to the plot and it's enough to make even the biggest softcore fan in the world roll their eyes. It's so bad that even the opening credits is 2 minutes worth of one of the girls showering which is freaking insane. The shot is a repeat shot too. She washes the same way 3 times.. goofy. If you take the sex scenes out it's only a 30-40 minute movie at it's core. Didn't need to exist but they made it work somehow. There are some bright spots.. Estevez is really loveable in this as is Travolta and Linea Quigley. She's the baddie but she's so fun. The main girl of the three girls is actually really loveable and enjoyable. Her and the main dude's romance is adorable as hell and I enjoyed it. There was also a really solid 2-4 minute nude modeling scene in the DC. It's showing a photographer do a 4 way nude photoshoot. The models are all super beautiful and the photographer is really expressive in how he does it. The work they do is quite good. As a photographer myself I found it a really interesting short part of the film. Nice for a change of pace and establish the location and plot better.. too bad they couldn't fix that part theirselves. Unless you wanna watch something like this for it's really limited niche value I wouldn't recommend it. If i do recommend it I'd offer it as both an un-intentional comedy and a way to show off Sheen and Travolta's acting skills. They carry the film past the finish line when no one else did. Def not one of the better full moon movies sad to say but not everything would be a winner. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 04/23/23 Full Review Audience Member With the names Travolta, Swayze, and Stallone in the cast, how did this go straight to video? An alien girl and 2 friends take a ride in daddy's spaceship and crash land on earth. While here, they win $30k in a sparsely attended bikini contest. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 02/13/23 Full Review Audience Member Three alien beauties raise money via absurdly lucrative bikini contest to assist beach bum in saving his property. This plot works every time. Torchlight's 15 min behind the scenes video bonus nicely recaps all the fun in making this 74 min feature. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 02/24/23 Full Review Audience Member As far as nudie flicks go, this one is vapid and knows it. No surprises just simple sex romp comedy with a hearty helping of cheese. Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 01/27/23 Full Review Read all reviews

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