Don't Go Near the Park

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justin t There is one thing that I will take away from this movie and that is that you can stay young by eating young virgin's livers. There is little else really. The film is made really badly. There is nothing whatsoever that will make you sit up and pay attention. The story about 12,000 year old siblings is beyond anything anyone would think was good. It was like it was written by a 12 year old. This is best stayed away from. The gore is really fake and the inept direction is horrible to sit through. It's outdated and that is the best I can say about it really. Such a disappointing film. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 03/31/23 Full Review don s Make no mistake, this is a B-movie with all that entails. If you rate it on the same scale as other movies, it is a loser - thus my rating. However, for a B-movie enthusiast such as I, this one has it all. Pseudo-sci-fi elements, cannibalism, young ladies getting naked, and some crappy effects that fit right in with the whole package. Fun stuff for those willing to expand their horizons and not take things too seriously. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 03/31/23 Full Review Audience Member Grisly but clumsily executed, even for b-movie standards. Borderline unwatchable exploitation that flips between a no holds barred cannibal film and something Disney would have made in the 60's. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/20/23 Full Review Audience Member Some of the worst acting...ever. The editing, scoring, and pacing are not much better. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 02/17/23 Full Review Audience Member i skimmed parts of this on youtube for a couple minutes. total cheese festival.& bad acting.& oh my God a funny minute where bondi is talking to nick! Review: well...what we have here is a...something special well where to begin... Don't Go Near The Park, is definitely in the so bad its bad category. the gore is cheesy and laughable. the plot makes no sense. the pacing is rather bad, and the film's staccato feel doesnt make it any better, the editing is on the spot awful. some dialogue is just terrible, and many different subplots just dont hold well, and keep stumbling on each other. the acting is ok from some, and just straight up horrendous from most others. the use of stop motion for the aging process isnt very good, and looks rather phony. But you can tell this was meant to be a serious film. the script in its own just isnt funny enough for it top be an intentionally bad film like ive seen people say before. it just isnt quite right. the film somehow ended up on the video nasties i dont at all understand why. i feel as though if it had a bigger budget it would be much better, and couldve been taken more seriously. the climax, well the whole movie is just something else. i do wonder what drugs the film makers were on during filming... the scoring...let me put it this way, the film feels and with the score sounds like i was watching the wizard of oz, only a rated r horror film. it just doesnt work. the scene with the rapists, i mean who on earth is that stupid? and Bondi somehow makes it out perfectly fine with no real explanation. the plot summary on Flixster literally is telling the whole movie, its something you have to see to believe. avid horror fans may recognize a young Linnea Quigley in her apparent first film. Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 01/25/23 Full Review Audience Member Linnea Quigley's performance cant make up for this boring and overrated flick. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 01/16/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Don't Go Near the Park

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