Audience Member
Terrible trash. But if you want to see a movie about a wet t-shirt contest, this is it. One of those so bad it's good movies that comes from another planet of awful. Nothing redeeming but that makes it hilarious.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
02/12/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Failing bar launches a wet t-shirt contest to drum up business and soon find themselves unable to lend parking spaces to the nearby bowling alley. It's a novelty that never fades in this town judging from the nightly crowds. Extended wet t-shirt scenes thankfully take precedence over Vincent's awful attempts at comedy and slapstick. Film saves its headliner, Corinne Alphen, for the final scene
Rated 2/5 Stars •
Rated 2 out of 5 stars
02/24/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Disco era film about the owner of a down and out bar who comes up with a plan to reverse his establishment's red ink bleed by holding wet t-shirt contests. Fortunes are instantly turned and the competition sparks a heated rivalry between local girls and the out-of-towners from Harrison College that can only be settled on stage in damp clothing. Like most Chuck Vincent films, this one is a weak comedy - see the cringe-worthy fight scene with Benny Hill style music. For glass half full types, there is Corinne Alphen, who can make even the worst material enjoyable and not surpisingly walks away victorious in the final wet t-shirt contest. I would be concerned if I was a fan of Harrison College's football team after witnessing practice with only 7 players.
Rated 2/5 Stars •
Rated 2 out of 5 stars
02/13/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Wow, what can you say about Hot T-Shirts? Bad acting, weak plot, and poorly done wet t-shirt contests. This isn't one I would recommend.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
02/16/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Wow, what can you say about Hot T-Shirts? Bad acting, weak plot, and poorly done wet t-shirt contests. This isn't one I would recommend.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
02/04/23
Full Review
Audience Member
The first half of <i>Hot T-Shirts</i> is considerably better than the second because they are almost different movies.
In the first half of the film, college-age bar owner Joe needs to find a way to get people coming to his business before it gets shut down. Since business at a bar across town is booming and all they have is dancing women, Joe's friend suggests a good way to increase the number of customers would be to have a wet t-shirt contest. Joe acts as though this is the stupidest idea he's ever heard - a wet t-shirt contest, bah humbug! Even after his friend sprays seltzer water on the breasts of the new bar's one waitress, Joe is unconvinced.
Given where the movie is clearly heading, Joe's initial reluctance was a real treat. It reminded me of the Will Ferrell movie <i>Semi-Pro</i>, wherein Ferrell's character basically invents the Alley-Oop maneuver play. All action on the court stops for a moment as every person in the stands is completely stunned by this new development. When Joe later sees some middle-aged cheerleaders being drenched with water by some frat guys, you can see the lightbulb clicking on in his brain. I just wish the movie had been more conscious of the humor here. He easy could have said something like, "Water... and t-shirts... wet... t-shirts... Eureka! I've got it!" Alas, no such luck.
However, the movie does lay claim to one of the most brilliant cuts in all of recorded history. At the cheerleading practice, once Joe sees the women being baptized, he quickly runs to his girlfriend to exclaim to her his plans to save the bar. She is excited but doesn't understand the concept. Mid-sentence during his explanation, the scene cuts and the two are sitting at a nice restaurant on the waterfront, a meal finished in front of them, and the conversation continuing exactly where it left off at the football field. This cut, if intended to be a joke, can only be described as <b>brilliant</b>. My gut tells me, though, that it was mere serendipity than specific intent, given that most of the other attempts at humor in the film feel like half-baked rip-offs from other teenage college comedies of the era.
Beyond that, the movie devolves into exactly what its synopsis promises. Joe sets up a wet t-shirt contest at his bar, which gives the film free reign to fall into minutes-long montages of women in thin clothing prancing around on-stage, occasionally lifting their shirts and flashing some skin. The one review for the movie on IMDb probably does a better job of explaining the film than I ever could: "It was the first (but not only) time I attended a movie with no women in the audience...The theater I saw this at - The Paramount - is now a lap-dance club."
That's fine, I guess, if what you're looking for is the softest of erotic entertainment. As a movie, though, it very quickly wears out its welcome as it becomes clear that there is not really a central plot. Yeah, there's the thing about the bar being closed down if business does not increase, but it's quickly forgotten once business does increase and yet the contest goes on. There's a dumb rivalry between the townie girls and the college girls; both groups feel that they must best the other in bosom beauty and recruit additional girls for the contest. This isn't really so much a plot line, though, as it is a way to up the ante between stages in the contest.
But in the end, there can only be one champion. Isn't there some kind of thrill in finding out who wins the top honors in the.. oh wait, none of the girls have any personality or individuality at all. The few that do are little more than jokes or stereotypes, e.g. the cheerleading captain, the girl who talks a lot, and so on. I suppose it's for the best. It's already creepy enough that the college football coach shows up at the bar in the front row to gaze longingly at the outlines of nipples in these teenage girls' soaking wet shirts, it would probably become too much to bear if we also knew that he knows their names and interests.
So what I'm really saying, in a round-about way, is that it achieves exactly what it set out to do in the first place, which is have a bunch of women on-screen who don't mind having water sprayed on their chest and jumping around on-stage if it means that they get to be in a movie. In that respect, it's a resounding success. As a movie, though, there are dozens of better films that maintain that same low-brow focus while providing a much more cohesive story, interesting characters, etc. Yes, <i>Hot T-Shirts</i> is a cheap gimmick from the title on down... but at least it's aware of it. Right?
<i><b>Edit:</b> I have uploaded video of that amazing cut to YouTube. You can view it here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjChL5ggN5g </i>
Rated 1.5/5 Stars •
Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars
01/15/23
Full Review
Read all reviews
>
