Audience Member
I gooned to ts✌🏾💔 (the movie could've been better and actually had something to do with the nursery rhyme pmo
Rated 2.5/5 Stars •
Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars
09/15/25
Full Review
BadNews R
Another colossal train wreck. That’s really the only way to describe Mary Had a Little Lamb.
Now, I’ll admit—I like when filmmakers take childhood stories and twist them into horror. Done right, it can be chilling, even disturbing, seeing something from your early years reimagined in such a dark way. There’s potential in the concept. Sometimes these adaptations actually work, creating creepy atmospheres and fresh nightmares out of familiar rhymes.
But this? This was not one of those times.
Instead of giving us a story that ties directly to the nursery rhyme in a clever or haunting way, the filmmakers drain the premise into something irrelevant, lazy, and completely bogus. If I had been writing it, I would’ve leaned into the idea of a young child being stalked by a hidden figure, with the stalking triggered by her singing Mary Had a Little Lamb. Maybe she finds something in her attic connected to her grandmother’s past—something dark that brings the rhyme to life as a horror curse. That could have been scary, inventive, and actually meaningful.
What we get instead is… nothing. A mess of a script, a back-and-forth story that makes no sense, and characters so poorly written and poorly acted that it’s almost laughable. The cast feels out of place, the dialogue is clunky, and there’s no consistency in tone. It just never clicks. From the very beginning, you realize this movie isn’t going anywhere, and as it plays out, that feeling is confirmed over and over again.
There are a few fleeting moments where you can almost see what they wanted to do, but it’s never executed well. The horror doesn’t land, the tension is nonexistent, and the whole thing just spirals into incoherence.
Verdict: Mary Had a Little Lamb is a colossal missed opportunity. It could have been a creepy, twisted take on a nursery rhyme, but instead it’s just a sloppy, irrelevant mess. Unless you’re looking for another “so bad it’s bad” watch, skip this one.
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
09/10/25
Full Review
Simon R
What the hell is this?
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
07/09/25
Full Review
Zackery G
This film changed the way I view the world, the amazing story and the character development was just magical along with the character depth, this whole movie was just magic. It keeps you on your toes and really makes you think, why does Mary's lamb have the urge to kill? And with that why does anyone? Should our pain and trauma be cast against others as a way to make one feel better about themselves? This movie had an intricate plot as well as a beautiful message about the harm that comes from judging each other by society and that your mental health comes first, but that other people also have problems and that you shouldn't direct your pain towards anyone else. As well as educating me on the abuse animals face and the various ways to put an end to it. This movie puts an eerie twist an on the nursery rhymes Mary had a little lamb, but enhances it into an 80 minute film which really was worth every second. The jumpscares are really great, and the story was even better.
Rated 5/5 Stars •
Rated 5 out of 5 stars
03/18/25
Full Review
Jake S
Well, Mary certainly did have a little lamb, but I don’t think its fleece was ever white as snow. Not this lamb anyway. Something trending lately has been taking innocent childhood themes and stories and making them into grotesque caricatures that have zero reason for existing.
I could understand from a filmmaker’s point of view how this would seem fun to dive into if it were a short film. But this agonizing feature-length adaptation (if you can even call it that) of the titular nursery rhyme should be taught in film schools how not to approach certain concepts.
A group of cold case true crime podcasters, about to lose their job, embark on a last-ditch effort to investigate a string of missing people with the hope of saving their careers. This leads them to little old Mary (the only believable performance given by a truly creepy Christine Anne Nyland) and her mysterious and reclusive son, whom she refers to simply as her “little lamb.” And that’s about it. The rest is just murder by a lamb-faced hulk of a butcher.
Everything is run of the mill. The characters are drab and flat, the kills are cheatingly off-screen, and I could be wrong but I think we’re supposed to care for the lead actress. I certainly did not.
The only aspect of this film I cared for was Vince Knight’s cinematography, which in any other movie could have made this a decent monster flick. Instead, it seems like Humpty Dumpty fell right off his wall and onto this film, making it one giant mess. If you want a lamb-themed horror, stick to Iceland’s 2021 film, “Lamb.”
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
11/02/24
Full Review
John C
Okay, I'm starting to believe that there's a factory someone in Britain which effectively has a 'production line' which churns out low budget horror films based on source material related to children fairy tales. I'm a fan of horror flicks in general and don't mind the odd low budget if the movie makes up for it with other qualities. And not I've seen a fair few on a well-known streaming service which all basically have the same cast, the same location and, as mentioned, very loosely based on a children's nursery rhyme.
Now, if all those qualities don't unite them - they're all also pretty dire. However, this one was actually decent (and I use that word loosely!) enough to keep me entertained for the duration. But, don't get wrong - it's no masterpiece, even in terms of B-movies.
If you didn't know what the film was called, you'd probably never guess it was based on a nursery rhyme. You'd probably just think it was called 'Poodle Maniac' or something, as the killer runs around with a giant mutated poodle's head on him. Or at least it looked like that particular breed of dog. Unless anyone can tell me what other animal it was supposed to be?
A group of podcasters... do you care? Do you really need to know what the reason is that means yet another group of people are stranded in the middle of nowhere (this time in England) well out of the reach of mobile phone range, but just in reach of a mother/son nut-job combo. You won't care about the characters - two of which make up both halves of the most awkward and unlikely couple I've seen on screen in a long time. The others all just have weird accents like they're English trying to do an American accent, or vise versa.
About the 'best' cast member is the screwy mother, Mary. She chews up the scenery like you've never seen. Not a great actress, but at least memorable among the cast - I'll say that. And the gore's not bad either. It's not amazing in as much as none of the kills are particularly inventive, but at least they look realistic (as realistic as when you've just been killed by someone dressed as a half human/half farm animal).
In terms of horror B-movies I have definitely seen worse. Many I end up turning off within the opening twenty minutes. This one was bad, but it was watchable in a bad sort of way. Does that make sense?
Rated 2/5 Stars •
Rated 2 out of 5 stars
07/27/24
Full Review
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