Audience Member
From Crossbow 5 Entertainment. The same people who are responsible for Biker Zombies from Detroit, presents us with Mr. Jingles. Originally a sequel to S.I.C.K. (serial insane clown killer) which is another god-awful slasher. Mr. Jingles is still somewhat a sequel to that movie, but I guess they're doing an anthology since each film has a different plot and storyline? I honestly don't know. The movie opens up with a prologue in which Mr. Jingles, a psychotic killer in a clown suit that looks like a shitty John Wayne Gacy cosplay, goes on a killing spree in the house of 12-year-old Angie. Her parents are slaughtered completed with some Halloween City gore effects, and a young heroic police officer comes in and shoots Mr. Jingles. Which they forgot to add gunshot sound effects because what we hear are clearly cap guns from Toys R' Us. It's not like Toys R' Us sponsored this pile of trash, but I digress. I will also mention that the actress playing Angie as a kid in this flashback, is the same person playing her as a 19-year-old. It goes to show that getting a real child actress wasn't in the budget of a ham sandwich from SubWay. Five years later, Angie is in a mental hospital for some reason, she gets released to live with her cousins, The end....WAIT!!!!! We can't end with that because they need to torture the audience with more of this pathetic film. I hate calling this a film. Because let's face it, it's not a film, it's a trashy homemade project made by a bunch of idiots with 10 bucks. Our main characters are supposed to be sympathetic, yet Angie has no personality whatsoever and can't act, her cousin Heidi is a rude, arrogant, typical hot blonde stereotype, Hiedi's friends are your typical sexy side b*tches (friends) and they are just there to give more kills for Mr. Jingles, Angie's cousin Dillan and his annoying goth friends are your typical stoner frat boys who also can't act, yet we're supposed to root for them and hope they survive? Ain't gonna happen. With a bad movie like this, you'd at least expect some hot women getting nude, but none of the women are hot at all. And there are only like 2 nude scenes from girls who especially aren't hot at all. It looks like someone accidentally dropped the camera into a bathtub full of chemicals since the movie is awfully fuzzy and it's hard to make out anybody's facial features. Or they could've used a bad 25$ camcorder from the 1990s that they got off of Craigslist. The audio is also terrible. It sounds like they plugged a karaoke mic into the crappy camcorder and said whatever. And sometimes it sounds like they forget the mic a lot so they resort to using a vocoder mic. The movie must have cost only around 23 bucks to shit out and throw it onto DVD. I wouldn't be surprised if it did. So, Tommy Brunswick, if you are reading this, please, get some actual talent to be part of your movies and stop hiring nobodies who can't act to save their lives. Like seriously, I, someone who has never acted, or made a movie in his entire life, would make a movie better than what we had to suffer through here. 1/10 because it's garbage alright.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
01/17/23
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Audience Member
Litteraly a joke. its so bad
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
02/19/23
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Audience Member
Terrible acting, terrible special effects, terrible camera work, terrible everything.
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
02/26/23
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Audience Member
The movie is terrible. There I just said it. It sucked. Slasher films are great when you have a decent story, good acting, and is interesting, etc. But a list of no-name actors who can't act their own way out of a paper bag, awful acting, and a ridiculous and uninteresting concept. I can't even believe a movie that was this bad exists in the world. But stink bombs exist everywhere, especially in the slasher genre. The acting in this movie is unbearable. It is so bad it makes birdemic look superior. The blood looks like cheap knockoff vintage Halloween city jug of fake blood. The gore in this film is so terrible it's unbelievable. And the cinematography is even worse. They couldn't even get an actual little girl to play Angie as a kid when she saw her parents get murdered. It was obviously the same exact person who portrays her as a 19-year-old. The music is terrible, and that's all I can say.
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
01/24/23
Full Review
Audience Member
not even a movie. The acting was horrible, the special effects were hideously bad, the audio was pure crap, and the clown was not scary. When angie's mom gets slaughtered by Mr. Jingles which was fake as S*** you can still see skin!!! The opening credits were way too long, almost like end credits. It looks to be filmed with an iphone 1. Or possibly an old 1990's camcorder. And the storyline was bull****
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
01/24/23
Full Review
Audience Member
:/ Half a star for the boobs
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
01/30/23
Full Review
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