Ninja Terminator

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Dappa D The best example of Godfrey Ho's cut and paste technique. You may want to read the plot before watching the film (the Wikipedia article has the best summary) as it is not clear what is going on 80% of the time, but I think it would detract from the fun. See if you can spot the Pink Floyd sample. Rated 4/5 Stars •  Rated 4 out of 5 stars 07/11/23 Full Review Audience Member If you owned a Korean film called The Uninvited Guest Of The Star Ferry, it probably wouldn't sell in the west. But what if you shot new footage of Supreme Ninja having his three greatest warriors — Ninja Masters Tamashi, Baron and Harry MacQueen (Richard Harrison) — celebrate the second decade of his power by assembling the Golden Ninja Warrior and making him impervious from swords, well, then you'd be able to sell that. Godfrey Ho. Genius or madman? Maybe both? Two years after the three ninjas took each part of the statue to keep their master from becoming too strong, Karada has killed the ninja Tamashi and Baron and Harry have been manipulated into battling one another. Will Supreme Ninja take the statue and reign forever? So yes, that's the basic plot. What I have not captured — I really don't know if I can — is just how lunatic this movie gets, constantly introducing new characters and ideas and rarely following up on them, like if someone introduced Jack Kirby to manga and then slipped him some amphetamines. I also am writing this under the influence of COVID-19 and the way my brain has been going from lucid to foggy to sleep to pain to being exhausted in a matter of seconds feels exactly like this movie but in a way better way than not being able to breathe and needing to sanitize my hands every ten seconds. Richard Harrison is a hero. I mean, yes, his career probably was ruined by Godfrey Ho repeatedly re-editing him into movies. I wish there was a way I could send him some cash by Paypal to make up for that because in this movie he wears a camouflage ninja suit and talks on a Garfield phone and honestly, I've never seen Robert Deniro do that. There's also a scene where one ninja can shoot fire out of his hands and another shoots ice and you know, that's no CGI, it's two dudes putting their lives on the line to entertain you thirty some years in the digital future. Also: sex scenes that refine the word gratuitous. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 02/06/23 Full Review Audience Member The Good: Clean Martial Arts, good scenes and locations. The movie has capable actors with an interesting story. Cinematography has good angles. The Bad: I expected more Karate styles in a movie about ultimate Ninja skills but the movie is primarily a showcase of Kung Fu and not Ninjitsu at all. Also, I cant put my eye on it but something is up with the editing in this movie; it feels disconnected. Dialog and video quality are low; even for the time period. What's up with Asian Drag Karen? Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 02/27/23 Full Review Audience Member In all honesty, how does one rate a movie like this? On its own, it is a pretty god-awful mashup of an ok (but still odd) kung-fu movie (or two?) and some additional footage of American actors shoehorned in. The result is nonsensical and unintentionally hilarious. Rated 4/5 Stars •  Rated 4 out of 5 stars 02/24/23 Full Review Audience Member [[ SPOILERS!!]] There's almost no way to review the movie Ninja Terminator because it makes no F**king sense. There is a reason for that though, and because two completely unrelated movies were spliced together and voice dubbed to create the weirdest, worst, yet at times badass martial arts movies. There is the Ninja Terminator story which is garbage, there's a golden statue that has 3 pieces. When the pieces are combined he holder becomes impervious even to samurai swords. Theres a red ninja who you never find out their name and 3 black ninjas. 2 of the black ninjas are middle aged white guys and the third is japanese??? Japanese Ninja ( named Tomashi) gets killed by red ninja and then the splicing begins. Red Ninjas call up a Yakuza in another movie to kidnap the Tomashis sister as random so the two middle-aged white ninjas will give up their piece of the statue. So Harry McQueen( Richard Harrison A.K.A middles aged white guy ninja) calls a private eye and overall badass in the other movie named Jaguar Wong ( Jack Lam) to help rescue Tomashis sister. Jaguar Wong is awesome and had it only been his movie it would've been really cool. Instead you go back and forth Jaguar Wong fight, red ninja breaks into Harry McQueen's house, Jaguar Wong fight, red ninja breaks into other middle-aged ninjas house, Jaguar Wong fight etc. until Jaguar Wong rescues Tomashis sister from one of the most ridiculous looking villains ever Tiger Chan a Yakuza who dresses normal, business suit, gloves, nice tie but then there is this bizarre blonde Bob haircut wig which is so ludicrous you can't help but double over in laughter Everytime it's on-screen. Tiger Chan's death is as ridiculous as his wig too as he somehow jumps down with enough force that he gets sticks waist deep in sand and Jaguar Wong kicks him to death.... Maybe death he might've just beat him up. Oh I didn't forget about the other story going on. Red Ninja challenges both middle-aged ninjas to a showdown. In preparation all three ninjas are testing swords on themselves and they're all invincible; which is Bulls**t because it's already been established that all three pieces are needed. If you're invincible with the one piece who gives a s**t about the other two. ((Deep breath.....Deep breath)). Dumb five minute fight happens, middle-aged ninja who's name I never learned bites the dust because for some reason they become uninvincible during the fight( not explained). Harry McQueen holds the full gulden ninja statue and the red ninja blows himself up. End. Credits. What you just read was more coherent t than what I actually saw because I've left out other major continuity problems. Sooooo much reusing footage Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! I've never had a movie leave me speechless but Ninja Terminator did it. Do I recommend it? If you want to feel like youve had the men in black memory swipe, this is the movie for you. But if you watch on YouTube and just skip to the Jaguar Wong parts you'll enjoy yourself. I don't know what to make of this movie. 2/5? Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 02/26/23 Full Review Audience Member Funniest thing that has ever existed period. Rated 4.5/5 Stars •  Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars 02/13/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Ninja Terminator

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