Pagan Island

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Audience Member "Pagan Island" qualifies as a low-budget, black & white schlocker about a modern-day Robinson Crusoe type seaman who washes up on a sun-drenched island inhabited by attractive dames in their twenties. The gals are basically the same ages and are all slim and sexy. Schlockmeister Barry Mahon produced and directed this lame, one-dimensional, exotic, outdoor adventure. This straight-faced travesty of sex comedy contains some grim, realistic moments that appear out of place. Our hero guns down four unarmed black guys. Some of the lensing, particularly in the Miami Seaquarium in Key Biscayne, Florida,looks terrific, but nothing else in the shallow script redeems this harmless film. The most unusual thing is the tragic ending to an otherwise frivolous plot. William Stanton (Eddie Drew of "Them!") manages to survive the sinking of tanker ship and his inflatable life raft beaches him on an island of bare-breasted babes who wear leis over their bared breasts. They live alone on the island. Initially, they treat Stanton like royalty as if he were checking in to five-star motel. They have a room ready for him, a meal prepared for him, and they even stage an evening dance where they ply him with jungle juice. Actually, these gals have other ideas that involve punishing the evil white man. They hang him up by his heels to roast in the sun. Good riddance summarizes their attitude toward Stanton. Things change suddenly when a canoe of blacks land on the island. The gals fear the blacks because these obsidian invaders have come to kidnap them. Stanton convinces a girl that likes him to cut him down. She gives him his snub-nosed revolver and our hero kills the invaders. Eventually, Stanton and his girlfriend, gorgeous Princess Nani Maka (one-time only actress Nani Maka) who is to be sacrificed to sea god take the plunge. They find a buried treasure and they are aboutto swim away to safety when a couch latches onto our heroine and she dies. Stanton frees her from the couch and they reach his life raft. Actually, "Pagan Island" opens as a ship picks up our hero and heroine in a life raft and Stanton tells his tall tale to two seamen. The tale comes full circle and Stanton's girlfriend is consigned to the deep. The acting, except for Stanton, is terribly wooden. Director Barry Mahon favors long takes and single set-ups. He also loves to show the curve of breasts that his nubile actresses try to conceal without success under their leis. These ladies are the worst actresses in the world. They appear to be reading their forgettable, broken English dialogue off cue cards. They sound like they are a cross-between Tarzan and Plains Indians. Okay, some of the dialogue in the context will make you smirk. One gal tells two others: "White man say I built like small brick house." The seduction scene is amusing and everything about "Pagan Island" is completely cheesy. Indeed, this movie belongs in the 'it-is-so-bad-it-is-good' category. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 01/17/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Pagan Island

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