Audience Member
Where do I begin? They have obviously hired porn actors, as evidenced by the horrific acting and gratuitous bits of nudity. The script has so many holes in it that it is laughable. I like scary movies that are really bad. But this was so bad it wasn't even funny. I want my two hours back.
Terrible, terrible movie. If I could give it a negatI've score, I would. They have obviously hired porn actors, because that's the level of acting. But the script is even worse. There are so many obvious and stupid holes in it, that I can only imagine that it was written by someone who writes cheap porn flicks and is trying to move into the horror arena. And wrot it in an hour when he was drunk.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
02/05/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Very low budget ready to strip girls! Quite boring at the start and acting were terrible but the wait was worth it to see the monster! Not great but better than some other Hollywood monsters!
Rated 3/5 Stars •
Rated 3 out of 5 stars
02/06/23
Full Review
Audience Member
A shoddy rip-off of body horror films, Parasitic has little more than fake tits and extremely unrealistic potty humor to recommend it.
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
01/27/23
Full Review
Audience Member
What the fuck is this shit I just watch? Not even worthy of a proper review.
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
02/21/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Parasitic (Tim Martin, 2012)
After I watched the ridiculously bad Poker Run (q.v., elsewhere this ish), I thought I had pretty much hit the bottom of the barrel for the week's viewing. It turns out I couldn't have been more wrong, and the reason for that is Parasitic, a brutally bad attempt at a horror film whose average rating on IMDB right now is a woeful 2.0. If it had enough votes to appear in the IMDB Bottom 100, that would rank it somewhere between #11 and #31. If you're looking for a second opinion, head over to Rotten Tomatoes. There, it has the distinction of being one of only a handful of films whose audience rating is zero percent. (Note: these numbers were mined on Feb. 14, 2013.) If it helps you to gauge how entirely awful this movie is, other films with 2.0 ratings at IMDB include Glitter, Track of the Moon Beast, and House of the Dead. Even the legendarily awful Bill Cosby flick Leonard Part 6 has a 2.2 rating. Yes, it's that bad. Normally, when it comes to movies that have been uniformly savaged by the crowds at IMDB and/or RT, I will attempt to find some small facet of that movie worth defending. I've even tried to defend Manos: The Hands of Fate. (Come on, catfights!) But Parasitic is a movie so awful that I cannot find a single thing-not one minor acting performance, not one camera angle, not even a snippet of the soundtrack, that makes this dog anything less than one of the worst movies ever made.
Plot: A strip club has closed for the night, and the late-night crew are trying to get cashed out and go home. Problem is, owner Val (Bianca Holland in her first screen role), who's a control freak and insists on cashing everyone out, is nowhere to be found. See, she went to the restroom and was attacked, and infected, by some sort of space parasite. And so now she's going to hunt down the rest of the crew and kill them one by one.
There's nothing here you haven't seen at least a dozen times before, but to the movie's dubious credit, I don't think you've ever seen it done quite so ineptly. It's just terrible all the way round, form the acting to the direction to the soundtrack to the lighting to the laughable CGI. There is nothing-nothing at all-about this movie that could cause me to recommend it to anyone. Please, for the love of bottle rockets, avoid this garbage. 1/2
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
02/11/23
Full Review
Audience Member
The presence of some good old fashioned non-CGI special effects and the memorable Bianca Holland (the bra was making it hard to breath I guess?) manages to somewhat overcome some bad acting and dull side characters.
Rated 3/5 Stars •
Rated 3 out of 5 stars
02/26/23
Full Review
Read all reviews
>
