Shark Week

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Audience Member this movie is the bottom of the barrel for sharks. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/19/23 Full Review Audience Member Inept bad vs great bad. A few (unintentional) laughs. Curious artistic choice: This may be the only movie in history to eliminate the characters in reverse order of the actors' attractiveness. First guy into the shark tank could be a male model; the nebbish-y, middle-aged "federal prosecutor" is among the last to go. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 01/30/23 Full Review Audience Member Badly written, bad acting, bad editing bad character motivation... Heck, some just jump in the water to be eaten for no reason.... Honestly, if someone would make this, I write you a better script in an hour if you pay me. Don't see it Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/03/23 Full Review Audience Member Shark Week Movie Review! The final movie (that I happen to know) that we need to see regarding The Asylum. That's about the only relief I can find in this movie. The premise is thus: A wealthy drug trafficker kidnaps a bunch of people and forces them to play a game (Saw much?) to survive. What we see is how the rest of the game develops and who we see survive in the end. The acting is subpar, nothing new to offer the series. These actors sure love to put a bunch of silly faces every now and again though. That's a pretty funny feature. The visuals and the CGI are actually not the worst of the whole shark fiasco. (Though that doesn't mean it is good.) Thing is, there are a lot (and by that, I mean a whole lot) of jump cuts. It throws you for a loop sometimes, honestly. This looks more like a spoof of Battle Royale with a side of Saw, to be completely honest. Though it's obvious it's lacking in many areas. But I digress. 1 out of 10. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/21/23 Full Review Audience Member 31 of 31 # 11 SHARK WEEK - I hate myself for watching this. Right off the bat I see "The Asylum Presents " I already know way in advance how truly horrendously everything this movie is going to be - chooo choooo all aboard the turd train. So our bad guy for this cancer inducing movie is called TIBURON....which in spanish means...SHARK.....yeah...is that kind of movie folks. So our Tiburon guy overacts every single line and I swear this kinda feels like a series of movies that I marathoned earlier this month....almost feels a little Saw ish.....maybe I am over thinking this - lets move on. So the movie starts with some dude we don't know with chains around his arms by the edge of a pool. Tiburon comes down and says he wants to play a game.......there is a key he throws at the bottom of this pool and he has 15 seconds to retrieve it or a shark that's behind a gate will eat him......dude jumps, gets the key, shark eats him. If that's not a Saw premise...I don't know what it....but perhaps I am still reading to much on this. So the movie moves to LA and we see 8 people get captured for no reason at all - and they all are gathered outside the same pool, nobody knows why they are there, oh goodie here comes Tiburon.....he is laying down the rules for a game where they will go from place to place surviving shark attacks.....ok....this is the premise for a Saw movie..except with sharks. I did laugh at the fact that as every victim was revealed we saw stats on them like a freaking videogame, and not only that, there is a scoreboard where every single person has an energy bar that drains when they die and a skull is posted on top of them....like a videogame. Ok....this movie is hurting my inner child......lets wrap it up. Tiburon has a wife who is more blood thirsty than he is. The reason people have been gathered is because they all had part in the death of Tiburon's son...COUGH SAW COUGH. The sharks roar......underwater....../facepalm......its Jaws 4 all over again. The camera shakes way too much whenever there is shark action happening - maybe hidding the truly hideous CG. One person survives - they kill Tiburon who gets eaten by a shark all in the same sequence. This one is not even funny to make fun of it, its totally terrible and not the best turd I seen The Asylum create, yes....there are other turds who are a bit more polished than this one lol. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/11/23 Full Review Audience Member Saw meets Jaws meets Asylum with terrifyingly sub-subpar results. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/20/23 Full Review Read all reviews

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