Snakewoman

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Audience Member This movie was so bad that I feel like I need to make my excuses to someone for having watched any part of it, so here goes. I like Jesus Franco's old films, as wacky as they are, and popped this one onto my Netflix queue without noticing that it was made in 2005. I hadn't realized that Franco was still alive as of 2005, let alone that he was still making movies. Strictly speaking, this isn't a movie but a video. A bad one, too. I knew in the first scene, wherein a woman is describing over the phone to her friend that an immaculately kept country house surrounded by manicured lawns and flowers is "in complete ruins" that I was in trouble. Then came the close-up of a swaying backside at the 8:00 mark and my heart sank. Within a few more minutes, a woman with a fake full-body snake tattoo was explaining how wonderful her own butt was to another actress. In fact, she had a whole PHILOSOPHY of why her tush was the greatest thing ever... and we get to hear it while the camera demonstrates in close-up that the Snakewoman doesn't believe in shaving or even trimming her lower anatomy, front or back. Ya know, it just got worse from there. At about 40 minutes came the most unappealing lesbian love scene I have ever seen in an alleged horror film. Nothing scary or even interesting had happened yet. The DVD went back into the red envelope, and good riddance. If you are absolutely terrified of unshaven Spanish asses, Snakewoman has what you're looking for. Otherwise, avoid this one like the plague, even if you love Franco's films from the 70s. I hope he quit making movies after this straight-to-video brain-fart. I'm truly sorry for having watched it. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/30/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Snakewoman

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