The Deep Ones

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Logan D A couple having issues getting pregnant decide to rent and ABnB near the coast. The locals are weird. The key to Lovecraft's stories is this growing sense of dread. Characters will be provoked to investigate an event and as the exploration continues, they slowly become overwhelmed psychologically by the situations confronting them. And we, the readers, cannot predict what is to come. Not so with this film! It's a straight forward and dull plot with only some momentary unintentional laughs to entertain the viewer. Sadly, cannot recommend. Instead, seek out Dagon, 2001, directed by Stuart Gordon or The Haunted Palace, 1963, directed by Roger Corman. The Deep Ones is only for Lovecraft movie completists. And even then, just barely Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 09/19/24 Full Review John H I absolutely love H.P. Lovecraft. He is the absolute master of horror, and everything good in this movie owes it to Lovecraft. Everything that brings it down (poor acting, laughable tentacles) owes it to what must have been one of the lowest budgets to ever produce a movie. I knew better than to spend time watching this movie, but I am a sucker for ANY HP Lovecraft material. I recommend this ONLY for Lovecraft addicts. Everyone else should stay very far away. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 04/18/23 Full Review Audience Member This was a bad and cheap retelling of a classic story Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/23/23 Full Review Audience Member If i could go zero i would. This movie is so bad if you paid me to sit in the theatre i wouldnt even watch it. Rather watch paint dry Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/03/23 Full Review Audience Member I never thought I would see the day, but someone finally made a movie worse than Troll 2. Honestly, have you ever seen a movie so bad it angers you? This is one of those. The script is deeply insulting to H.P. Lovecraft's legacy and insulting to the intelligence of anyone watching this trash fire. Most of these actors couldn't pass acting school with a bribe. I wish I could say the worst thing about the script was how predictable it is (which it is), but there is so, so much worse than that going on here. Literally, the song "row your boat" is used as an evil chant by the cult members in the film. You know...."row, row, row your boat"....cause nothing is more chiling than bad actors singing a jingle randomly (it literally isn't even used for summoning or anything, they just start singing a round....They name drop Cthulhu pointlessly at the beginning of the film while hypnotizing someone with a lighter, establishing themselves as a Cthulhu cult - a pointless scene which is thrown away almost immediately because (as anyone with a passing familiarity with Lovecraft knows), this is a Dagon story. The cast for some reason keeps making ahegao faces and going cross-eyed. There are racial slurs just peppered in because...they wanted to have them in there I guess (?) And Dagon when he appears is a 5'4 guy in a really bad kaiju outfit. The best makeup in the film is a "fish faced" person that I'm pretty sure was borrowed from the Barge People movie. (still no idea why its even in the film as that is one of many scenes that is just...there. Listen, I want to say this is one of those movies that will have you laughing at it's idiocy, but it's too boring to even pull that off. I love bad movies, and I own every Lovecraft film made (most of them are pretty freaking bad, and I watch them often, lol) but I do not have the words for how much I want to Thanos snap this movie out of existance. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/19/23 Full Review Read all reviews

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