Audience Member
I thought this movie was very eye opening. Though it is about children in Australia I think the narrative still translates to America as well. When people talk about marriage equality they seem to think only about the adults but this film shows how important the children are as well. Children are more knowledgeable than people give them credit for and these children prove that having gay parents does not mean that they are worse off than children with straight parents.
Rated 4/5 Stars •
Rated 4 out of 5 stars
02/11/23
Full Review
Audience Member
"Love makes family," I cried at the end. I'm so into each child in the movie. This is a great documentary, we all just have to adapt with how life is going.
Rated 4.5/5 Stars •
Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars
02/26/23
Full Review
Audience Member
- Gayby Babies are just like the rest of us -
Gus, blond, fair-skinned, with a delicate nose, stares transfixed at the TV screen in his bedroom as men in leather boots and skin-tight trunks clothesline and bodyslam each other until one can pin down the other for three counts. The winner, with a sweaty, bedraggled mane and shining bronze biceps, holds up a championship belt. "More than every single grain of sand in the world," Gus states matter-of-factly. "That's how much I love wrestling."
Gus's mom worries about him, about the example professional wrestlers set for her son. She worries about how rough Gus and his little sister Rory play when they try to imitate the wrestling moves, and how Rory inevitably ends up hurt and crying. His other mom does, too. Rory and Gus were conceived via sperm donor, Gus explains. Although low levels of testosterone in the family hasn't kept Gus from developing an obsession with championship wrestling so typical of young men.
Gayby Baby is a simple glance into the life of Gus (age 10) and three other children, Ebony (age 12), Graham (age 11), and Matt (age 11) as they deal with the transitions and heartache of growing from childhood to adolescence. The only thing that makes their stories stand apart from any other childhood is that these children are being raised by gay or lesbian parents.
Director Maya Newell (TWO, Growing Up Gayby) was raised by a same-sex couple herself. In the heat of Australian debate over how and whether to recognize same-sex unions, she saw a tragic silence in a crucial area: nobody was giving ear to the children. Enter Gus, Ebony, Graham, and Matt.
Even though Matt has a father, he loves mom's new partner and is learning to vocalize and fight for her right to be with the person she loves. Graham's dads decide to keep their relationship private as the family moves to Fiji for work, since the local culture tends to look unfavorably upon such unions. Ebony's moms are sacrificing everything they can to help her get into an arts-focused high school for next year, but the family struggles with depleted finances and a baby brother prone to seizures and extended medical issues.
The fascinating thing about this documentary is how unextraordinary these children are, how similar their joys and sorrows are to my own childhood. Raised on the other side of the world in a conservative, heteronormative family, I saw these same struggles. My brothers loved wrestling, and my parents worried about how much we all roughhoused. I had friends with recurrent health issues that affected every part of family life. I stressed out over auditions, just like Ebony does. I was raised in a religious family, like Matt, and started learning to deal with questions and doubt when I was about his age.
In many ways, Gayby Baby is nothing revolutionary or exposing or even interesting. Except that human people, especially children, are so interesting! Children are such a perfect window into both insecurity and perfect confidence, into love, hate, passion, and conviction.
The most convicting aspect of how their lives differ from mine growing up is the extra baggage they have to deal with - not because their parents are same-sex, but because of how their society reacts to that. Ebony is stressed about starting high school, like any normal kid, but she dreads the looks and whispers from the kids when they find out she has two moms. Graham is assigned to write a paragraph about himself and his family, but has to filter every thought because it's "not the right time," according to his dad, for people at school to know about their same-sex union.
Their parents cuddle and yell and fight and give selflessly just like my parents, just like all parents. After watching this film, I did not have the feeling that same-sex couples parent any better or worse than heterosexual couples. Rather, I thought, Man. Being a kid is hard. Being a parent is hard. All the time, no matter what.
I work with children, and I get to watch them interact with their caregivers. I see moms, dads, grandparents, babysitters, nannies, aunts, and uncles. Straight and gay, religious and nonreligious. I see sweet hugs and temper tantrums, kisses and swats. More than who takes care of them, I see kids either wilt or thrive on how they are cared for.
If Gayby Baby makes any concrete assertion, it is a very similar one. Kids can tell when they're being loved and cared for. In a world where every family deals with brokenness and difficulty, the real question is, are we loving and family-building through it all? As Australians and those of other nations continue the fight for (and against) recognition of same-sex marriages, partnerships, and parents, this quiet documentary lets the kids talk for a change. And, unsurprisingly to many of us, they don't sound much different from the way kids have sounded since the beginning of time.
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This review was first published on Narrative Muse, http://www.narrativemuse.co/movies/gayby-baby, and was written Debbie Holloway. Narrative Muse curates the best books and movies by and about women and non-binary folk on our website http://narrativemuse.co and our social media channels.
Rated 4/5 Stars •
Rated 4 out of 5 stars
02/08/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Director Maya Newell's Gayby Baby is a documentary film that follows four young Australian children- Gus, Ebony, Matt, and Graham-through their daily lives with their same-sex parents. The film is a wonderful one that documents the normality of these kids' everyday lives, and seeks to shed light on what it's really like being raised by same-sex parents.
The film's opening credits showcased a variety of old black-and-white photos of typical nuclear families: families consisting of a mom, a dad, and children. The film choose to do this to display powerful images of the social norm for families. During the credits, there's dialogue from several people articulating some of the typical arguments for traditional marriage between men and women, and how same-sex marriage negatively affects children. Brief, factual statements, as well as opposing arguments, were mixed in with these voices before they all started clamoring over one another. This setting of the stereotypical family photos as well as the arguing voices really creates an impact for what comes after: a boy's voice and a photo of two women and their children. The sudden realization that every voice before his was an adult was eye-opening and impactful. Newell clearly meant for this to be a striking contrast from the overwhelmingly adult voices that make up the conversation of legalizing same-sex marriage and parenthood, to the children, the ones being affected most in this matter.
Newell chooses to interview only the four kids to not overwhelm the film with adult voices. Her creative choice was a profound one, as often this argument over same-sex marriage and raising children is from the perspective of the adults, rather than the children. The movie brings the voices of children in same-sex marriages directly to the audience, emphasizing the importance of their voices in these debates and arguments across the world. Through each child, Newell documents that their lives are quite extraordinarily ordinary. The director's decision to follow these specific four children with different interests, personalities, and stories showcases how having same-sex parents works well with all kinds of children.
Graham has two dads and struggles with reading and writing at age twelve. He talks about how his first adopted family didn't teach him to do either, and his dads mention how "all he had were vowel sounds, and hand signals" when he came to live with them at age five. His two dads are struggling to teach him so he can catch up, but they're putting in the time and effort for it because they love him. The film shows this family's struggles to teach Graham because it's a clear testament to how same-sex parents will go through the same measures to provide their child with what they need. The film also highlights how the foster care system failed to tackle this issue with Graham's inability to read and speak, and how the first parents failed to provide basic parental needs to a child.
Ebony has two moms and wants to become a singer and go to a performing arts high school. Her parents support her decision and spend money on singing lessons from a private tutor, and tell her to practice constantly. Ebony notes how the school must be a "really good school for Mum to go to such extreme measures to try and get [her] in." Her parents are trying their hardest to give her the future that she wants, to give her every opportunity to succeed. These are measures any parents should go through for their child. The documentary shows that these same-sex parents will go to the same lengths for their child too.
Gus loves wrestling, but his two moms worry that professional wrestling will give him the wrong idea of what masculinity is. The film shows how the parents regularly have disciplinary issues with Gus not following what they tell him to do. He's seen wrestling with his sister, even after they tell him not to. He ends up injuring her and himself. They discipline him and give him new rules to follow, working out their issues. While Gus continues to watch wrestling videos, he follows his parents' rules and they even take him to a wrestling match to watch. Out of the four children, Gus' life seems the most ordinary, and the film shows how same-sex parents will work through disciplinary issues together with their children just like any other parent.
Matt has two moms and a father. His mom and dad divorced when he was young, and his mom met his stepmom soon after. His stepmom surprises him as she's "done so many things for [him] that he never thought somebody who wasn't [his] parent or related to [him] could do.". Matt's family also had the opportunity to attend a dinner with Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard in hopes of showing how their family is just like any other. Gillard has made statements against the legalization of same-sex marriage in Australia, and it's his parents' hopes to change that. Newell's choice in choosing this family brings in political activism and bigger political issues, but remains at the focus of the child. The family attend the dinner, and Matt comes out and speaks to some reporters about how it went, saying how he wanted to tell Gillard that "it shouldn't have been a law that two people who are in a same sex marriage can't get married." It's evident that the documentary picked this family for their political activism to show how same-sex parents are working towards their rights, and the children wants them to have those rights as well.
The documentary shows these impactful interviews to bring in how the children feel about their family situation. It shows how children in families with same-sex parents are not negatively impacted by it, but rather are only negatively impacted by the world around them. These interviews show how the discriminatory and unaccepting people around these families impact them. The kids at one point or another all mention how they could be bullied because of their family, and how people aren't understanding of their family situation. The film putting these scenes into the documentary invokes a sense of sympathy for the children having to go through a difficult situation.
Newell's Gayby Baby is a documentary that will become a film for the ages. While the documentary features children in Australia, its universal themes of love, acceptance, and family are a much-needed addition to the debate across the world. The film's setting in Australia does not limit its applicability to viewers from other countries, where the same debates and arguments are still raging now. It's versality is what makes it such an impactful film, anyone who wants to watch this movie can find something to personally connect to.
Rated 4/5 Stars •
Rated 4 out of 5 stars
01/26/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Great docco about kids growing up with gay parents. Very enlightening indeed.
Rated 4/5 Stars •
Rated 4 out of 5 stars
02/03/23
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Audience Member
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Rated 5/5 Stars •
Rated 5 out of 5 stars
02/06/23
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