Audience Member
Sasquatch Hunters (2005)
Dir. Fred Tepper
I can't for the life of me think of a single film about bigfoots in the entire history of cinema that was good. Seriously, try. Think as hard as you can, try and think of one bigfoot movie that you've ever seen or heard of EVER that was good. You can't. You can't because there aren't any.
Sasquatch Hunters is no exception to this rule. This movie shat itself straight to DVD back in 2005. Even for the time, this movie looks dated, like a tv special TNT would have whipped up to air after re-runs of Thunder in Paradise.
Anyway, Sasquatch Hunters is a movie about some scientists and park rangers that head deep into the mountains of the pacific northwest looking for some mysterious hominid bones. When they get there it turns out that the bones belong to a clan of bigfoots that goes back several hundred years. Squatch and pals don't take too kindly to these dweebs vandalizing their ancient bigfoot burial ground and spend the rest of the movie killing them off one by one until the survivors can find a means of escape. There's not really much of a story here, and the plot is about as simple as you can get. But I guess asking for complex writing or a compelling narrative in a bigfoot movie is asking too much.
To try and hit every foul point on this movie would take more time than I'm willing to devote, so I'll run through the myriad list of problems as fast as I can;
Visually speaking, this movie is a grab bag of the worst of mid-90s daytime drama cinematography. It looks like a bland television show; no interesting angles, no visual integrity, just bare bones composition and "get it done" camera work. There are a couple shots of the landscape that are pretty good, I'll give it that, but I'm sure the filmmakers would rather the movie be remembered for other things than its b-roll.
The writing follows in the same vein, just barely enough without ever drifting so much as a toe into "good" territory. The plot makes as much sense as it needs to but none of the characters are interesting, there's no real sense of danger, and the whole film coasts on "bigfoots is real!?" for the entire runtime. Couple that with some dirt poor acting and you get why there are no good sasquatch movies.
The sound design is really off too. There are times where the music just drowns the dialogue. I had to piece together parts of the plot because I couldn't hear what the characters were saying. And the music is bad too, it's like you got the cheapest, shittiest composure to try and give you a 'Best of John Williams' soundtrack. Don't get me wrong, the writing and acting in this movie being what it is, I'm fine with not hearing it. But at least save me from having to put up with this awful music instead.
The creature effects are probably the only thing worth noting with Sasquatch Hunters. And they're not notable for being good, or even so bad they're good. The movie uses the cheapest looking low grade CGI for almost all the wide shots of the bigfoots, and even for some of the close-ups. And it looks really bad, we're talking Reboot bad. No, fuck that, Reboot looked better than this. But what I don't understand is why they didn't use a guy in a isuit? I mean, they DID use a guy in a suit but only for a handful of shots here and there. The suit looks better than the crappy CG, and then at some point I think they realized that because at the end of the movie the squatch squad (yeah, squatch squad) are all played by guys in suits. Maybe they couldn't afford to have more than one CG character on screen at once? I dunno. Maybe they just thought it looked too bad? But a couple times in the movie the CG bigfoots interact with CG people and that was fine with them apparently. But it gets worse. In the end we get shots of the bigfoots running and while they have suit actors for the body, the heads have been CG'd! So, I don't understand what the fuck is going on with this movie. Real bigfoot, fake bigfoot, half real/half cartoon bigfoot hybrids, it's all shit. I'm pretty sure the costumes they used for the sasquatch were just gorilla suits from Party City anyway.
All the other bullshit aside, the biggest problem with this movie is that it's just boring. It's not funny, it's not scary, it's certainly not well made, and there's no sense in watching it even for the sake was watching a bad movie. It's just an utter clusterfuck of failure thrown onto a DVD and crapped out for stupid people with too much time on their hands, like myself, to watch. I think the reason there's no good bigfoot movies is because it's not really a concept that a lot of people are interested in. Think about it, bigfoot has always been looked at as kind of hokey. So going into a bigfoot movie you're kind of already expecting some hokey bullshit. The least you could do to make a bigfoot movie interesting is double down on the stuff that might actually be entertaining. Don't try to make high art, just give me schlock; more bullshit, more bigfoot. Any attempt to make a serious film just won't work because nobody takes this shit seriously.
Final rating for Sasquatch Hunters is a 1.5 out of 5.
Rated 1.5/5 Stars •
Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars
02/04/23
Full Review
Audience Member
loved this one too :D
Rated 5/5 Stars •
Rated 5 out of 5 stars
01/26/23
Full Review
Audience Member
far better than the first
Rated 4.5/5 Stars •
Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars
02/06/23
Full Review
Audience Member
lol terrible but hilarious
Rated 1.5/5 Stars •
Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars
02/25/23
Full Review
Audience Member
bring on the sassy's
Rated 3.5/5 Stars •
Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars
01/24/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Pretty good. Decent for a bigfoot cheese fest.
Rated 4.5/5 Stars •
Rated 4.5 out of 5 stars
02/14/23
Full Review
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