Gray Matters

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Gnr E Movie night with my friends watching this movie was a really good memories now Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 07/18/24 Full Review corkball Heather Graham is... gay? Didn't buy the character. This movie is dumb in all the ways rom-coms are dumb, and then pile on that the gay stuff that doesn't really ring true. Top it off with WAY too much exploitative shots of the wife character in frilly underwear. They could have either pulled back on that, or leaned in to it and just made it softcore. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 03/31/23 Full Review Audience Member A heartwarming comedy about the realisation of ones sexuality as an adult. Rated 5/5 Stars •  Rated 5 out of 5 stars 01/13/23 Full Review Audience Member A humble little chick flick comedy that benefits from its simplistic tones and charming cast, even if its entire "fin your own identity" subtext is never deeply explored, and the humor is, oftentimes, cliché. Rated 2.5/5 Stars •  Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars 02/26/23 Full Review Audience Member Neither good nor bad. Just kinda meh. Rated 2.5/5 Stars •  Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars 01/21/23 Full Review Audience Member Can we agree that we've never seen Molly Shannon, to any degree, in a good movie? If so, then we're on the same page, and I'll go one step further to say that this is another point on your Molly Shannon Antemasque bingo card. Granted, I didn't expect to tune into The House of Sand and Fog, or a Kenneth Brannagh Bard adaptation, but I did expect to at least laugh and smile a bit over a lighthearted romp. It was too lame for intellectually passive leisure, and still took itself too seriously to be funny for its failures (i.e. the Room, Ed Wood flicks). All in all, it's only watchable because of its good production value, cute faces and the lesbian twist that leads you tepidly to wonder what's afoot. Now, if you watch the first 15 minutes and think that the acting is exaggerated (not laugh-out-loud comedic, but simply over the top like a bad high school play), the dialogue is poorly written, and the character interactions/personalities are a little contrived (wondering aloud, "Who actually says stuff like that? Who responds that way?"), then rest assured: it won't get better. And that vague niggling curiosity about what's going to come of all this build-up is simply "almost nothing". This is where I, like Jack on the wreckage of the Titanic, try to save you as I slip into the frigid primordial depths of despair. You don't have to live like I did. You can stop this movie before it even starts, and you don't REALLY need to know the ending, because I promise you, your life is worth more than that. But as for me, that was not to be my fate. Unfortunately, I saw some positive reviews online that persuaded me to watch this heap of cinematic refuse all the way through, made desperate by FOMO. Now I suspect that everyone was as pissed off as I was about the lost hour of their lives and joined in on a conspiracy to pay forward the pain as a practical joke, the film equivalent of Rickrolling someone. Consequentially, I witnessed the happy-go-lucky 90's grocery store soundtrack and analogous plot ambling along, painfully forced like high-fat discount ground beef squeezed out of the plastic wrapper. Limited nutritional content, and so full of hot air that it contributes to greenhouse gas emissions in a significant way. I began to think the writer had no idea where she was going with the story line but damned if she wasn't going to make a movie! How did she persuade someone to produce it? How did this get a box-office release? Maybe because of eye-candy Heather Graham, SNL subnova Molly Shannon and "original Carrie" Sissy Spacek signed on? Heather Graham never really acts 'sad' or 'upset' in a human manner - instead, she jumps up and down, sputters dramatically, paces frantically, and says, "I'm upset! I'm really upset!" or "I'm so sad! I'm really sad!" - this is not the way normal humans act, except for the members of the anime club who perceive all life through a cartoon filter. But you white-knuckle your arm rests, not because of the story arc, but because of the fear of that to which you've committed your time. You linger in grim anticipation that something might finally happen of some interest or revelation... **********(SPOILER ALERT? but you knew it was about lesbians BECAUSE IT'S IN THE SUMMARY FOR CHRISSAKES!!!!!)********** ...and then learn that that character is a lesbian. Then this boring 2D character wrestles with being a lesbian for the remaining minutes of the film before finally, nominally, accepting herself and entering the lesbian community---and thennnnnnn....... WHAT?! wtf, you mean it's over?! We spent all this time waiting for one poorly-constructed fictional character to make poorly-constructed fictional peace with the fairly banal subject of sexual preference, but never to actually act upon it before the movie is over?! Yes, that's exactly what happens. Maybe this movie was well-received because there are tons of lonely Pacific Heights trophy wives sitting at home in their yoga clothes relating to these vapid, mindless characters and personally invested in their triumphs? Maybe they're misty-eyed remembering their bi-curious OK Cupid fling between troubled marriages and yearn to remember their gym teacher flame as Heather Graham. Or maybe this film received decent reviews because it's one of few "coming out" films for women in the U.S., and moreover one of few comedies. But if you're a smart dyke looking for quality entertainment that you can strike sexy rapport with, my advice is to look elsewhere. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 01/25/23 Full Review Read all reviews

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