Ironmaster

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Audience Member This movie's plot looks like the beginning of a Civilization IV game. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 01/15/23 Full Review Audience Member On näissä kyllä yllättävän paljon tahatonta komiikkaa. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 02/12/23 Full Review Audience Member The problem with movies like the Umberto Lenzi film IRON MASTER is that Lenzi and company have to observe certain rituals about making film palatable to audiences. In other word, although this adventure film is set during the early days of man, nobody is bald and the women look gorgeous. Obviously, everybody had to don a wig and they look slightly ridiculous running around in wigs. The women have to wear lipstick and rouge and they look more like models on holiday. Indeed, most women in early tribal villages did not conceal their breasts, but for the purpose of modesty the dames here but cover up their ta-tas. Despite this problem and an awful looking fake lion head that star George Eastman wears, IRON MASTER is not as bad as you might expect for an Italian exploitation film. First, director Umberto Lenzi, who has made some genuine skull crushers as MAKE THEM DIE SLOWLY and CANNIBAL FEROX, keeps the action simple and straightforward and takes the story seriously. No, this is no tits and ass camp. The dialogue is okay and the performances are acceptable. The theme that weaponry can set mankind free as well as imprison them is good stuff. The chief villain Vood (George Eastman) wants to be the leader of the tribe, but the leader rebuffts him. During a raid on a village, Vood (George Eastman) attacks and kills the chieftain and he is turned out of the village. Everybody freaks out when a nearby volcano erupts and Vuud is around when a chunk of steel is vomited out of the mountain in the shape of a sword. Okay, it is terribly convenient, but it does not slow down the plot. Vood uses this iron stick as a weapon and takes control of the village and attacks Ela (Sam Pasco, a stud muffin with more quivering six-pack muscles than you can count) with his new weapon. Ela manages to get away but he has an ugly looking wound in his side. He runs intio a beautiful babe and she nurses hmim back to health and takes him to her village where there are no weapons. Meanwhile, Vood and his men make and equip themselves with iron swords from the volcano and decimate the local infestation of man-sized chimps. Think 2001 because the primates resemble those from the Kubrick film. Eventually, Vood and his men decide to rule the world and they attack one village after another until Vood learns that Ela is in one village. Ela has a treat in store for his sworn enemy. It is a weapon that makes his army the equal of Vood's sword wielding horde. The ending looks like something out of an Italian film of the era. Okay, it is corny at points, but you have to compel yourself to over look some stuff so that you can get something out of it. The most extraordinary thing about this French and Italian co-production is that they lensed some of the story on location at the Custer Park and those buffalo are the genuine thing. Rated 2.5/5 Stars •  Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars 01/17/23 Full Review Audience Member pre-movie credits: check, horribly scripted fight scenes: check. i actually kind of liked the idea and it was strewn together nicely. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 01/31/23 Full Review Audience Member (***): [img]http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/user/icons/icon14.gif[/img] This film makes me laugh way too much! It is so godawful that I have to recommend it. An underrated comedic gem ;) We need a DVD! Rated 4/5 Stars •  Rated 4 out of 5 stars 01/18/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Ironmaster

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