StephenPaul C
The greatest 01 hour: and 22 minutes ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rated 5/5 Stars •
Rated 5 out of 5 stars
06/30/23
Full Review
Cyrus K
This is so historically inaccurate that it makes Pocahontas look like a true story! with annoying characters, a terrible story, bad voice acting, and like i said MASSIVE HISTORICAL INACCURACY!
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
10/04/22
Full Review
Audience Member
What... The.... Fuck?! *ahem!* Okay, So.. "The Magic Voyage": A 1992 Animated Children's Film About Christopher Columbus (...) Told By Filmmakers From GERMANY! Now, I Seriously Have NOTHING Against Germans Okay! But As We Couldn't Get OUR Own History Right, The Folks In Germany Decided To Step Up To Bat. Well, Needless To Say, It's GODAWFUL!
1st Off, The Animation Is Inconsistent! 1 Minute It Might Look Decent (Like Disney, Or.. Whatever) But Then The Next Minute We're In Saturday-Morning-Cartoon-Animation Territory Like "Schoolhouse Rock!" With The Unfunny, Pointless Dream Sequence. Not To Mention, The English Dub Of The Film Itself Is Badly Dubbed! 2nd, The Characters Are Horrible! They're Horribly-Written & Just Mentally Insane Or Just Disney-Esque Bullshit. 3rd, The History Of Columbus's Story Is Far Beyond Disgraceful; On Top Of That Case, The Film Is Laced With Sexual Innuendos, Dom DeLuise's Italian Accent For Our Title Character (Not Hero, Sadly) Is Racist (For He Actually IS Italian), & It All Makes NO Sense! I Mean, *pfft!* Yeah!, There's A Fucking Lot Of Things Your School Teachers Haven't Told 'ya! And 5th, It's All Noisy! It's The Same Case With Films Like "Felix The Cat: The Movie" (1988) Or Disney's "Inspector Gadget" (1999); It Won't Ever Shut.. The Fuck... Up!
What A Horrible Idea! What A Horrible Movie! WHAT A FLAT-OUT HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE! I Can't Believe How Awfully This Family Film Is Written, I Can't Believe How Far It Is From Reality, It's Poorly-Animated, It's Nonsensical, It's Confusing, It's Boring, Ungodly Annoying, Painful... Shall I Go On? It's 1 Of The Worst, Ladies & Gentlemen! 1 Of The WORST Films I've EVER Sat Through!!! And, Christopher Columbus Talking To A Sock Puppet & Catching It Into Flames By The Flies/Bees/Or-Some-Shit (...) WTF!!! That Part Made Me Snap! I've.. Got Nothing Else! Just... Blow Me! And FUCK THIS MOVIE!
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
02/17/23
Full Review
Audience Member
The discovery of America, as told by German filmmakers. The name of the person who was responsible for the story is even two letters off from saying "Uwe Boll". Say what you want about Pocahontas but at least that movie had the excuse of being based more off of legends than history and was trying to be a good movie. The Magic Voyage on the other hand...isn't. Aside from the tale of discovery of America being treated as a fairy tale rather than an entertaining history lesson, there're also MANY flaws: bad voice acting in the English dub, poor animation to the point that a dream sequence has Christopher Columbus look like he's pulling a telescope out of his crotch, a terrible script, forgettable songs and one problem that also plagued another American dub of a movie that had German companies involved: never shutting up. While you can hear every piece of dialogue the characters are saying, after the opening credits sequence, there is nary a moment of peace and quiet. You know that kids need quiet moments, right? Being noisy doesn't guarantee that children won't lose interest. This is a terrible, obnoxious animated movie that actually leaves me curious whether or not the original German-language version is miles better than what was in this abysmal English dub.
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
01/23/23
Full Review
Audience Member
I am reviewing this movie after seeing it a handful of times, I screen most everything on a 13" JVC I am reviewing the 2nd English Dub of this film as it is the only copy I have ever come across.
This movie is silly and charming in a way that will make anyone who remains a child at heart smile. It casts Christopher Columbus as a bumbling idiot with our unlikely Hero being a bookworm named Pico who seeks out foreign lands on the high seas. Plenty of high spirited songs and fun colors to distract the kids while the rest of us can laugh at this ridiculous re-telling of Christopher Columbus discovering the New World.
The animation is a little choppy, not quite 24 frames per second and the dubbing doesn't quite line up but that is sort of to be expected. For a movie released in 1993 I think Germany put forward a grand effort. It has been noted though that the songs and dialogue went through significant change when the dub was made leading to some nonsensical lines here and there.
Rated 3.5/5 Stars •
Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars
01/20/23
Full Review
Audience Member
You mean to tell me that Christopher Columbus discovered America with the help of a talking woodworm and defeated a giant swarm lord and rescuing a fairy princess in the process?! Yep! It's official! Somebody was on drugs while making this! I give it one star because the animation can be decent, but keep in mind, I said it "can be" decent. As a whole, I'm torn between two places regarding the animation. There are moments where it can be good, but then there are times where it looks like a really dated cartoon from the '70s or something like that. And not to mention there are some moments in the visuals where it makes you question how this film received a G rating. A good example that proves my point is that there's this one scene where Christopher Columbus is dreaming about finding the New World, and he pulls a spy glass out of his crotch. I can't believe somebody was paid to animate that. I really can't. But you what else I can't believe? HOW THIS GOT A G RATING WITH A SCENE LIKE THAT!!! Bottom line, The Magic Voyage is horrible. I hate it.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
02/17/23
Full Review
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