Jon D
Classic horrible 80s teen slasher. Really horrible.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
06/08/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Straight out of the suburbs of Montreal, Canada*, Zombie Nightmare was originally written to start black actors but the money people wanted white character names and actors. Yes, that really happened.
After baseball practice, William Washington saves Molly Mekembe from two thugs who kill him. A few years later, a similar fate befalls his son Tony (Jon Mikl Thor!) when he stops a robbery and is then hit by a car driven by Bob, Amy (Tia Carrere), Jim (Shawn Levy, who would go on to direct Big Fat Liar, Cheaper by the Dozen and the Night at the Museum movies), Peter and Susie.
Tony's mother — wearing the same sweater as Pamela Vorhees — brings in Molly, who is now a voodoo priestess, and then uses her son's zombie form to get revenge on the teenagers. As the murders begin, crooked cop Tom Churchman (Adam West) is on the case and man, he likes to shoot things. I guess that corruption and a love of guns are a few of the prerequisites of being a police officer.
Man, the casting for this movie makes me overjoyed. Tony was originally played by bodybuilder Peewee Piemonte, who I assure you is a real person and has been in Barb Wire, My Demon Lover, Under Siege, Weekend at Bernie's II and over three hundred credits for stuntwork. Well, the story is that Piemonte was fired for eating all the craft services and the meals of crew members. Superstar Billy Graham was originally going to play Tony's father, but no one picked hi, up at the airport. Yes, that really happened.
Beyond Thor contributing music from his band and doing the soundtrack under the name Thorestra, Motörhead, Virgin Steele, Girlschool, Fist and Death Mask songs are in this movie. There's also a song by Thor's then-wife and backup singer Rusty "Pantera" Hamilton (note that the cover of the DVD says Pantera, which isn't a lie but isn't the truth).
As for the director and producer of this movie, Jack Bravman, the majority of his film career was in the adult industry, using names like Wizard Glick, J. Angel Martini and Looney Bear.
*Writer John Fasano, who acted in Blood Sisters and painted the poster for Tenement, wanted to set this in his hometown of Port Washington, New York, but they could not get permits.
Rated 1.5/5 Stars •
Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars
02/06/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Good Samaritan is run over by a carload of reckless teens but brought back to life by a female voodoo master to seek revenge. Likely filmed in Quebec as evidenced by the O'Keefe beer and Players cigarettes signs. Not a good move with some horribly choreographed fight scenes but one I would watch again down the line.
Rated 2.5/5 Stars •
Rated 2.5 out of 5 stars
02/13/23
Full Review
Audience Member
The new MST3K Netflix original has been released and I decided to expose myself to some of the old episodes available for streaming on Hulu and Netflix (there is a different random selection on each platform). Whether it is Joel or Mike watching these awful movies with the bots I do not envy the torture they are put through. Their snarky comments add some entertainment value, but my ratings are based on the movie's quality itself and not the extra material broadcast from the satellite of love. Adam West plays it straight as an inept police captain in this 80s horror schlock. The strangely buff zombie and draw of the sexy "teens" (like Tia Carrere early in her career) are not enough to keep this mess engaging.
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
02/01/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Zombie Nightmare is about a softball player who is hit by a car and killed. He is then brought back to life by a voodoo priestess. He takes out his revenge on those who killed him. There are cops involved and some stuff.
Zombie Nightmare is a film more terrible than the description I just wrote, a film so poorly executed, written, directed, and acted that it has become the stuff of legend for almost thirty years. When I stumbled on this film I didn't know MST3K had riffed it long ago, which the filmmakers should be thankful for because that means it shall live forever, if not in the way they wanted.
Adam West gets top billing. He's in the film less than 10 minutes. Motorhead get a major credit for music. The Ace of Spades plays over the credits with the rest of the soundtrack being mid '80's death metal of the blech sort. Tia Carrere, pre Wayne's World is in this and actually gets screen time, but is not the vixen on the cover of the film.
So now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's actually talk about the movie. If you like your movies padded then this is the one for you. We get some driving, some more driving, a mediocre chase in a gym, yadda, yadda, yadda. It's the typical stuff that pads a movie from student film to feature length.
The acting? Well, when Adam West is your best actor, that about sums it up.
Ugh, this movie is so bad I don't even want to talk about it anymore. The writing sucks, the plot twist is predictable, and the only meaningful experience you can have with this film is making fun of it.
I think I've written a review as terrible as the film.
Rated 0.5/5 Stars •
Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars
02/07/23
Full Review
Audience Member
Part poorly-shot pop video, part dreadful detective drama, Jack Bravman's hilariously bad horror is a cinematic catastrophe, stretching the boundaries of bad taste far beyond breaking-point.
Questionable editing, ludicrously long takes and goofy continuity are outdone only by pathetic plotting and oh-so-lax direlogue, but not even ex-Batman Adam West can save the day in the genuine watchability department. Technically speaking, this isn't even a zombie movie, but one thing's for sure: it's definitely a nightmare. Unintentional comedy gold.
Rated 1/5 Stars •
Rated 1 out of 5 stars
02/14/23
Full Review
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