The Ninja Mission

Audience Reviews

View All (20) audience reviews

Audience Member Mediochre yet entertaining Cold War spy thriller - that just so happens to include ninjas. A swedish film with fairly high production value for its time, but enough cliches to fill any book. The swedish accents and the bumpy dialogue are hillarious in their own right. God, I love the 80s. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 01/16/23 Full Review Audience Member Luulisi että oisin digannut enemmän, mutta pakko olla rehellinen. Jotenkin elokuva oli vaan tylsähkö, kaikista loisteliaasta pöhköydestään huolimatta. Rated 3.5/5 Stars •  Rated 3.5 out of 5 stars 02/04/23 Full Review Audience Member Swedish Ninjas vs. The Evil Ruskies! It's not very good, but it does have one awesome action scene right near the end of the film. When a bunch of Russians soldiers get done over; One gets decapitated, the rest get blown to bits with an explosive dart-gun. It gets very messy! This scene is on youtube. It's better then watching the whole movie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNTFLXZlP0c Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 02/12/23 Full Review Audience Member Awful in a funny way. Even so, it taught me a number of valuable lessons: 1. All it takes to be a ninja is a ski mask, a sword, and a propensity to roll at every opportunity. You can use guns too if you want. 2. The major players in the Cold War were the United States, Russia, and Sweden. 3. Silenced pistols sound like a Casio keyboard. 4. Beards are the most important component of a movie about ninjas. The beard-to-ninja ratio in this movie is 76:1; in fact, some of the ninjas even have beards. 5. There is only one helicopter in the entirety of Sweden. 6. No amount of lingerie or nudity can make Hanna Pola sexually attractive. 7. Blood squibs are ten times cooler on the head than on the chest. 8. Everyone within a fifty-mile radius of a Mats Helge movie will die. 9. The Geneva Conventions don't apply when dealing with communists. Keep your eyes peeled for what I can only guess is mustard gas, as well as a gun that makes people's organs explode! 10. I'd just like to reiterate that this movie has a gun that makes people's organs explode. For a ninja, bullets are inadequate. Thank you, Mats Helge. You have shown me how to be a man. You are like the Buddha, and this film is your badly-dubbed Eightfold Path. I will forever cherish the wisdom imparted to me by The Beard Mission. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 02/04/23 Full Review Audience Member Even if this movie is old it is still not an excuse for it being so horribly bad. If you want a ninja movie just pick something else, this is just a standard action with a bad story. Not much to see! Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 01/14/23 Full Review Audience Member one of the worst movies i ever saw! Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 01/20/23 Full Review Read all reviews

The Ninja Mission

My Rating

Read More Read Less POST RATING WRITE A REVIEW EDIT REVIEW