The Beast in the Cellar

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SICKS6SIX average of 15%. They must have watched another film to me. Kitcsh at its best. Bmagnificent. Her antidotes are years ahead of anyone in 71. The constant nods to the future makes you wonder is this the original dialogue or CGI. Rated 4/5 Stars •  Rated 4 out of 5 stars 11/18/22 Full Review Demented N Well Acted but too chatty and gossipy for a horror movie. Could work at a push but it's not a good m1ovie and answers the age old question can big starts save a bad movie and the answer is no but they do add star quality. Rated 1.5/5 Stars •  Rated 1.5 out of 5 stars 10/09/22 Full Review Audience Member Despite its short comings, this cult horror is quite tense at times. Two sisters keep their mentally disturbed brother locked in a cellar, but he gets out..... Rated 3/5 Stars •  Rated 3 out of 5 stars 02/10/23 Full Review Audience Member Produced by Tigon British Film Productions, and directed by James Kelley, (from TV's Bootsie and Snudge and Our Man at St. Mark's), this is a very schlocky horror that is quite slow moving and takes it's sweet time in getting going. It promises a lot, but most of it's suspense doesn't begin until it's nearly too late. Which is a shame, considering it has a good cast and all. At an Army base in Lancashire, there have been killings of soldiers by what appears to be an animal, Sgt. Young (John Kelland) brings in Superintendent Paddick (T.P. McKenna) to investigate. At a house on the edge of the army base perimeter live two elderly sisters Ellie (Beryl Reid) and Joyce Ballantyne (Flora Robson), who live quiet lives, and keep to themselves. Ellie is always nostalgic for the good old days of their childhood, but Joyce is domineering, claiming their childhood wasn't as good as she remembers it. They're visited with groceries by Corporal Alan Marlow (John Hamill), but the sisters have a dark secret... It's a very silly and grainy horror film, the only good thing going for it are the performances, but something like this is screaming to be gorier and nastier, but it isn't, it's suggestive but that's it. Oh, and look out for Chris Chittell (Eric Pollard off Emmerdale.) Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 02/05/23 Full Review Audience Member not very good to be honest, not scary at all Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 01/15/23 Full Review Audience Member Ok, I'm going to say straight off the bat, this is, in my experience, the most difficult film in the world to watch...ever. This is not because it had challenging concepts, or a complicated plot. Nor was it because it was sh*t the bed scary, or horrifically brutal (I'm guessing this film was supposed to be a horror by the way). It was purely because the film is painfully dull. In fact, the only thing scary about it was the fact that it made its way onto a videocassette, and as for concepts and plot... err yeah. I don't want you to think at this point that I'm just moaning because my blood-lust was not fulfilled, this hatred for the film goes much deeper. I am not talking your regular Hammer Horror dull; I'm talking old women on a bus discussing the price of ham dull! Believe it or not, that's not far from the synopsis of this torture of a film, just replace the bus with a house, and the price of ham with a lack of celery and you've got it. I know I'm telling you this is a sh*t film (it is by the way), but I feel I must say - you have to see it to believe it, I'm sure the first twenty minutes was actually a conversation about celery. To make matters worse, both characters in true old lady fashion repeat the frustratingly tedious lines "we appear to have no celery" "no celery?" "no celery" "we should get some" "get some?" "yes we should get some celery" (not actual script) Basically, it plods along like that for the duration, with a couple of mildly amusing murders, and a few other laughable scenes - all funny for the wrong reasons of course. I don't blame the writing in so much as I think it achieved what was intended, likewise the performances from the leading ladies were spot on (capturing two dithering old bats perfectly). You just have to question the disturbed mind that would want to create this bordomiser they call 'Beast in the Cellar' - Oh yeah, there is a 'beast' (well a man with long hair) in the cellar, but that's more of a sub-plot. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/31/23 Full Review Read all reviews

The Beast in the Cellar

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