Cheerleader Ninjas

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Audience Member http://letterboxd.com/zbender/film/cheerleader-ninjas-2002/ Cheerleader Ninjas looks and even sounds like the promise of some campy gold, but damn this movie fails stupidly. There's semi-promise with some good ol fourth wall breakage, and then the movie drops. Cheerleading Ninjas acts as a 1 hour and 36 minute car crash which fails to even keep me entertained. Director Kevin Campbell in his only feature knew full well what he was putting on the screen. I think in a way a homage to B movies, but it felt so sloppy and at times disingenuous in production. Now I can shit on the acting and special effects, but in B-movies that is kinda where the good is for me. Here it's terrible, but not notably. Probably the notable is a Power Ranger inspired climatic battle with double sided dildos, and the need for blow-up sex dolls in every damn scene. The acting is over the top especially from the main villain who is the most flamboyant of villains I've ever seen. The story and jokes. Oh my God, shoot me it was fucking terrible. The story is a mess of terrible sex fantasies, terribly lazy fourth wall breaks, actual shit, and the worst part? It was boring. Yeah, you'd think a movie with a lot of random atrocities occurring would be good enough and it's not. Half the time I was lost. I paused this movie on five different occasions. FIVE. The jokes are incredibly lazy. This film relied on its fourth walls almost too often in an attempt to be clever. That gimmicky shit got old real quick. Soon enough let's shit on gays! Let's have a guy whose only objective as an actor (because as an actor you're given an objective to work with in every scene) is to randomly shit himself! Get a guy who has sex fantasies so we can have a reason to throw some tits at the audience (they were actually ok)! Let's take advantage of cliques in high school and make the cheerleaders stuck up and bitchy, and make the nerds incredibly pathetic! It's just an incredible amount of shit pouring on. This is a film I cannot tell you to avoid enough. Their not even really ninjas. They're training scene still makes them look like me trying to swing at a piñata. I could take them on! On Wiki this is a "no budget film." I feel terribly sorry for whoever signed on to this mess. This gets the opposite of a full recommendation, rather this is a film that makes me wish God has mercy on your soul. Good luck. Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 01/27/23 Full Review Audience Member Uma pérola perdida do über besteirol hollywoodiano. Uma obra prima do nonsense. Brilhante. Rated 4/5 Stars •  Rated 4 out of 5 stars 02/18/23 Full Review don s B-movie campiness that intends to offend everyone at some point and pretty much succeeds at that task. The humor was mostly sex and toilet based - a bit too lowly to enjoy or laugh at. The cheerleaders with ninja weapons and the squad fights were awesome though. Gratuitous nudity is, of course, present with the fantasy girl doing her own and all others being body doubles. Tries too hard to be funny, and it's not so bad it's good either. Rated 2/5 Stars •  Rated 2 out of 5 stars 03/31/23 Full Review Audience Member complete garbage, why does this exist Rated 0.5/5 Stars •  Rated 0.5 out of 5 stars 02/21/23 Full Review Audience Member Woefully unfunny comedy for the most part despite a promising premise about a group of cheerleaders who learn kung fu in order to defend themselves from a religious group who blames them for objectionable material on the internet. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 02/13/23 Full Review Audience Member It took me five minutes to figure out that this movie is not worth sitting through. Terrible acting, complete lack of humor, and I would sooner gouge my eyes out than sit through any more of it. Rated 1/5 Stars •  Rated 1 out of 5 stars 01/16/23 Full Review Read all reviews

Cheerleader Ninjas

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